I can predict weather in Indianapolis!
Thread Starter
Senior Member
True Car Nut
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 4,606
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From: Indianapolis, IN
I can predict weather in Indianapolis!
This is unbelievable! I have the forecast for the next few months, and it'* pretty awkward. It'* going to be a recurring weekly cycle.
Sunday - The worst rain & cold ever until 1PM, and then sunshine until 9PM. Rain & cold resumes.
Monday - Rain & cold ceases at noon to allow for the sunniest day of the week. The sunlight continues until 1:50PM. Then, a horrible downpour of the coldest rain known to man will happen. This continues until Tuesday evening.
Tuesday - At 6PM, the sun comes out and instantly dries everything with soothing, harmless rays all the way until 11PM. At 11PM, it instantaneously disappears behind black clouds and far too much sleet. The sleet is accompanied by hail from 11PM until about 11:36PM, and then it returns to sleet.
Wednesday - The sleet is joined by rain and thunder. It is going to be extremely cold - too cold for humans - until around 3PM. At noon, though, the sun will come out and stay, harmlessly and beautifully, until 1:50PM. Pain and anguish will resume until 3PM, and then the sun will return. The sun will provide amazing light for working on cars, and no one who may step outside will miss out on the opportunity to work on cars in fine, silky weather until 11PM. Rain, suck, crap, and cold winds will immediately reign the night starting at 11PM and will continue all through Thursday.
Thursday - Nothing but the aforementioned conditions. The weather will be the worst, and it will continue ALL throughout the day. There will not be a soul undisturbed by the biting, arctic cold that gnaws through the very core of your fight for survival. It will rain, and hail will fall intermittently. Not a ray of light will be seen unscathed by the tormenting weather.
Friday - The biting, glacial weather will carry on slightly until the morning. Morning traffic will be dense and cluttered because of car accidents every 3.5" along each and every slab of cement. However, at 8AM, all cars will miraculously resume untethered, and the sun will shine like never before. It will shine beautiful rays that will nourish all who may see it. Wounds will heal in the rays, and roads, instead of being full of ruts, holes and roadkill, will let cars glide as if all vehicles were to fly and never feel turbulence. Unfortunately, at 4PM, the weather will rage again, and all road conditions will return to chaos. Not a person will see through any windshield at all, and all life will forget that at least once during the existence of mankind, there may have been "nice" weather.
On Saturday, the weather at 9AM will calm down to being foggy, misty, but completely fit for stepping outside and performing all the necessary preventative maintenance on cars. This will be as such until around 5PM, and then thunder, hail, and rolling roaring flaming napalm balls will afflict all who attempt car work. It will be best to stay indoors and do nothing - nothing at all.
----------------
So, there you have it. It'* my amazing prediction of weather in Indianapolis based purely on accurately gathered scientific facts.
Sunday - The worst rain & cold ever until 1PM, and then sunshine until 9PM. Rain & cold resumes.
Monday - Rain & cold ceases at noon to allow for the sunniest day of the week. The sunlight continues until 1:50PM. Then, a horrible downpour of the coldest rain known to man will happen. This continues until Tuesday evening.
Tuesday - At 6PM, the sun comes out and instantly dries everything with soothing, harmless rays all the way until 11PM. At 11PM, it instantaneously disappears behind black clouds and far too much sleet. The sleet is accompanied by hail from 11PM until about 11:36PM, and then it returns to sleet.
Wednesday - The sleet is joined by rain and thunder. It is going to be extremely cold - too cold for humans - until around 3PM. At noon, though, the sun will come out and stay, harmlessly and beautifully, until 1:50PM. Pain and anguish will resume until 3PM, and then the sun will return. The sun will provide amazing light for working on cars, and no one who may step outside will miss out on the opportunity to work on cars in fine, silky weather until 11PM. Rain, suck, crap, and cold winds will immediately reign the night starting at 11PM and will continue all through Thursday.
Thursday - Nothing but the aforementioned conditions. The weather will be the worst, and it will continue ALL throughout the day. There will not be a soul undisturbed by the biting, arctic cold that gnaws through the very core of your fight for survival. It will rain, and hail will fall intermittently. Not a ray of light will be seen unscathed by the tormenting weather.
Friday - The biting, glacial weather will carry on slightly until the morning. Morning traffic will be dense and cluttered because of car accidents every 3.5" along each and every slab of cement. However, at 8AM, all cars will miraculously resume untethered, and the sun will shine like never before. It will shine beautiful rays that will nourish all who may see it. Wounds will heal in the rays, and roads, instead of being full of ruts, holes and roadkill, will let cars glide as if all vehicles were to fly and never feel turbulence. Unfortunately, at 4PM, the weather will rage again, and all road conditions will return to chaos. Not a person will see through any windshield at all, and all life will forget that at least once during the existence of mankind, there may have been "nice" weather.
On Saturday, the weather at 9AM will calm down to being foggy, misty, but completely fit for stepping outside and performing all the necessary preventative maintenance on cars. This will be as such until around 5PM, and then thunder, hail, and rolling roaring flaming napalm balls will afflict all who attempt car work. It will be best to stay indoors and do nothing - nothing at all.
----------------
So, there you have it. It'* my amazing prediction of weather in Indianapolis based purely on accurately gathered scientific facts.
Senior Member
Posts like a Northstar
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 560
Likes: 1
From: Indianapolis
Ahh OK, so you have translated revelations in the bible from Gaelic to English.
Yes it is true. the weather in our town sucks a lot.
Don't forget about the dust storms the second we put wax on our cars.
And don't forget about the weather being 72° with 5 mph breeze and sun while we are at work.
Yes it is true. the weather in our town sucks a lot.
Don't forget about the dust storms the second we put wax on our cars.
And don't forget about the weather being 72° with 5 mph breeze and sun while we are at work.
Senior Member
Posts like a Camaro
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 851
Likes: 0
From: Colorado Springs C.O.
Originally Posted by impatient99
Ahh OK, so you have translated revelations in the bible from Gaelic to English.
Yes it is true. the weather in our town sucks a lot.
Don't forget about the dust storms the second we put wax on our cars.
And don't forget about the weather being 72° with 5 mph breeze and sun while we are at work.
Yes it is true. the weather in our town sucks a lot.
Don't forget about the dust storms the second we put wax on our cars.
And don't forget about the weather being 72° with 5 mph breeze and sun while we are at work.
Thread Starter
Senior Member
True Car Nut
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 4,606
Likes: 0
From: Indianapolis, IN
I hope my meteorogical discovery will help us all. Unfortunately, I think that survival can only be possible with having at any given time exponentially far more money than any single repair may cost. Has anyone found a less painful solution?
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