how to get out of shopping with the wife - GM Forum - Buick, Cadillac, Chev, Olds, GMC & Pontiac chat


Lounge For casual talk about things unrelated to General Motors. In other words, off-topic stuff. And anything else that does not fit Section Description.

Reply
 
 
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 10-23-2009, 05:41 PM   #1
Senior Member

True Car Nut
Thread Starter
 
2kg4u's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Windsor, Ontario / Detroit, Michigan
Posts: 4,804
Thanked 220 Times in 181 Posts
2kg4u has much to be proud of2kg4u has much to be proud of2kg4u has much to be proud of2kg4u has much to be proud of2kg4u has much to be proud of2kg4u has much to be proud of2kg4u has much to be proud of2kg4u has much to be proud of2kg4u has much to be proud of
Default how to get out of shopping with the wife

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target.


Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samsel, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people'* carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the hunting department




4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in House wares. Get on it right away! This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of 20 funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'* THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least:

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There'* no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.
2kg4u is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-23-2009, 05:55 PM   #2
Retired Senior Admin

Expert Gearhead
 
Danthurs's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Sheboygan Wisconsin
Posts: 29,661
Thanks: 0
Thanked 16 Times in 13 Posts
Danthurs is a name known to allDanthurs is a name known to allDanthurs is a name known to allDanthurs is a name known to allDanthurs is a name known to allDanthurs is a name known to all
Default

I'll have to add a few of those to my list.
Danthurs is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-23-2009, 06:04 PM   #3
Senior Member
True Car Nut
 
sawgunner's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Dover, NH
Posts: 7,122
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
sawgunner is on a distinguished road
Default

ROFLMFAO!!!! that'* great
sawgunner is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-23-2009, 06:46 PM   #4
Senior Member
True Car Nut
 
Purplehazeir's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Arlington, WA
Posts: 7,979
Thanks: 0
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
Purplehazeir is on a distinguished road
Default

Dibs on #15!
Purplehazeir is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-24-2009, 09:49 PM   #5
Banned
Posts like a Turbo
 
ricosuave420's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: cranford nj
Posts: 301
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
ricosuave420 is on a distinguished road
Default

holy crap 2kg4u, u are deff the adult version of me, i deff wanna be as rediculious as you when i grow up, i started crying after readling the 3rd one lol, deff awesome
ricosuave420 is offline   Reply With Quote
 
 
Reply

Related Topics
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
getting the wife out of the car garagerog Lounge 5 08-31-2014 03:33 PM
Taking the Wife out to dinner at Sam's Club GXP Venom Lounge 10 07-06-2011 10:39 PM
my wife is going to hang me and my daughter out to dry.. 88bonnsse Lounge 15 03-21-2008 03:53 AM
wow my wife really went all out this time. happy b-day 2 me 88bonnsse Lounge 11 03-03-2008 06:35 PM
Do your wife's ever get tired of you being here? Survey says james tharp Lounge 25 05-15-2006 12:37 PM


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 08:16 AM.


We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.