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Old 03-07-2003, 12:44 PM   #1
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Default Help me

I have a poem for school and i was wondering if you could give me advice.

On a little street surrounded by a field of snow
I meet with my friend my foe
My Opponent

Our muscles twitch we get a little itch
In anticipation of the count
1… 2… 3…

We both slam the pedal with the weight of a lead foot
The tires break loose screaming like a banshee
Then the wheels start to grip
The power starts to kick

Side by Side we are, as we try to get rank
Then second kicks in
And it really starts to pull
He is trying to ride on my bumper
Then he starts to loose pace
Leaving him in the dust as a pass the line

I won the race
He was all mine
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Old 03-17-2003, 12:14 AM   #2
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Default

I think it'* great , but it doesn't cover the adrenilin or sweaty palms . Light foot and nervous thoughts.
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Old 03-17-2003, 05:04 PM   #3
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Default Re: Help me

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phantom
I have a poem for school and i was wondering if you could give me advice.

On a little street surrounded by a field of snow
I meet with my friend my foe
My Opponent

Our muscles twitch we get a little itch
In anticipation of the count
1… 2… 3…

We both slam the pedal with the weight of a lead foot
The tires break loose screaming like a banshee
A Glimpse of him is all that I took
My head slammed back on the seat as I screamed with Glee
Then the wheels start to grip
The power starts to kick

Side by Side we are, as we try to get rank
Then second kicks in
The speed rised fast, as the engine really did Crank
And it really starts to pull
He is trying to ride on my bumper
Then he starts to loose pace
Eatin my Rubber
Leaving him in the dust as a pass the line

I won the race
He was all mine
Maybe he'll be smart next time
and not race his RICE
Ha ha ha.. that'* good... my 2 cents are put in in bold... what you think ?
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