/A 90-year-old man went to his doctor to get a sperm
count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this
jar home and bring me back a semen sample tomorrow."
The next day, the 90-year-old man returned to the doctor'* office
and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the
previous day.
The doctor asked what happened, and the man explained,
"Well, doc, it'* like this. .. First I tried with my right hand, but
nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing.
Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand,
then her left, still nothing. She even tried with her mouth,
first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, and still nothing.
We even called up Arlene, the lady next door, and she tried
too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried
squeezing' it between her knees, but still nothing."

The doctor was shocked. "You asked your neighbor!!??"


The old man replied, "Yep, but no matter what all three of us
tried, with our arthritis, we still couldn't get the jar open."/

well, you know what happens when you assume...

Gizmo jar opener.