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Old 05-20-2006, 08:47 AM   #1
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Default Film Improvements

So often, a great movie is ruined by a completely BS ending. The Hand of God intervenes and all is well. I'd like to take the time to share some alternate movie endings...how I would have done it.

The Abyss

As far as sci-fi films go, this one is in the lower echelon of crap and the highest echelon of nerdy. It is way too long...and frankly, kind of boring.

I'd have improved it by cutting the last 15 minutes. Possibly, the last 30-40 minutes. When Ed Harris goes to cut the bomb wires, he would've cut the wrong one. The bomb would explode killing everyone and starting a radioactive chain reaction that would slowly destroy the Earth from the bottom of the ocean.

Also, there would be giant radioactive squids and stuff. It would be cool. Trust me.

Titanic

Look, obviously this movie could use a lot of work because it...well...sucks at least fifteen different ways. But I will simply deal with the ending.

In my twist, instead of having Kate Winslet floating on a hunk of wood waiting for the rescue boat, I'd have DiCaprio struggle back to the surface. He sees her lying on the board calmly relaxing. In a fit of rage, he would grab her arm and cry, "If I'm dying today, you're coming with me bitch."

At that point, he would pull her under and they would sink into the murky depths only to return in fifty years as very angry and waterlogged zombies.

Superman II

General Zod wins.

The Ring

While this movie was basically crap, the ending could have been better. The realistic ending would have been that the chick dies, the dude dies, the kid dies...everybody who watched the tape dies.

Horror movies seem to have some BS rule that the kid never dies. Screw that. In my version, the kid dies. Horribly.

Plus, my version wouldn't have allowed for the extra crappy sequel that followed.

XXX

Vin Diesel screws up and the anarchists blow up the entire planet.

Giant radioactive mutant lizards and mammals roam the Earth and cause havoc for the newly created post-apocalyptic societies being built by the mutant humans who survived the devastation.

Also, that was an incredibly long run-on sentence.
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Old 05-20-2006, 11:22 AM   #2
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Default Re: Film Improvements

Quote:
Originally Posted by MOS95B
Giant radioactive mutant lizards and mammals roam the Earth and cause havoc for the newly created post-apocalyptic societies being built by the mutant humans who survived the devastation.

Also, that was an incredibly long run-on sentence.
yes, but its not horrible English.
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Old 05-20-2006, 12:04 PM   #3
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i cant stand watching the end of most movies. its like, for the first hour and a half, youre watching an awesome movie, then suddenly the makers realise tha theyve got 30 minutes left to wrap it up and suddenly "a miracle happens" and the answer equals four. i agree, screw that. i think its time that they started killing everyone off as a way to wrap it up nicely. thats how itd really happen.
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