1
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She'* 97 now and we don't know where the hell she is !

2
The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

3
I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up.

4
I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.

5
I don't exercise at all. If God meant us to touch our toes, he would have put them further up on our body.

6
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

7
I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

8
The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

9
If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

10
And last but not least:
I don't jog, it makes the ice jump right out of my glass.

Or it makes ya spill yer beer??