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Old 01-08-2006, 09:34 PM   #1
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Default Difference between Democrats, Republicans and Southerners :D

Question: How do you tell the difference between
Democrats, Republicans and Southerners?

The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist
with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock 40, and you are an expert shot.
You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
What do you do?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Democrat'* Answer:

Well, that'* not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation!?
Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have a candlelight vigil and make this a happier, more enlightened community that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! ! I need to debate this with some friends for
few days and try to come to a consensus.


~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Republican'* Answer:

BANG!

~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Southerner'* Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! click.....(sounds of reloading).

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! click

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the
Winchester Silver Tips?"
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Old 01-08-2006, 10:13 PM   #2
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Repost!
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Old 01-08-2006, 10:15 PM   #3
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Good one!

Of course, you could easily replace "Southerners" with "Midwesterners", or "Ohioans", or "Michiganders", or perhaps 48 other states'* inhabitants and other geographical areas.

Jay
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Old 01-09-2006, 02:52 PM   #4
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My first thought -
BANG!.

BTW, what is this "Allah" I keep reading about? One board i visit is always making jokes about that phrase.

Is it like saying - "God Bless America" or "Heil Hitler" or something?
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Old 01-09-2006, 02:56 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by impatient99
My first thought -
BANG!.

BTW, what is this "Allah" I keep reading about? One board i visit is always making jokes about that phrase.

Is it like saying - "God Bless America" or "Heil Hitler" or something?
In the off chance you're serious (and if you are, you should really get out more)....

Quote:
Originally Posted by www.dictionary.com
2 entries found for Allah.
Al·lah ( P ) Pronunciation Key (l, äl)
n.
God, especially in Islam.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Arabic Allh : al-, the + ’ilh, god; see l in Semitic Roots.]

[Download Now or Buy the Book]
Source: The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition
Copyright © 2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company.
Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.


Allah

n : Muslim name for the one and only God [syn: Allah]
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Old 01-09-2006, 05:16 PM   #6
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Mos, i actually was serious.

I know NO-thing about arab/islam stuff tho.

I also know nothing about worldy religions.

WELP, I shall crawl back into my cave now...
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Old 01-09-2006, 09:20 PM   #7
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We don't carry them thr plastic toy gu-ns downs here!
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Old 01-09-2006, 11:56 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rosco the Iroc
We don't carry them thr plastic toy gu-ns downs here!
Somethin tells me I don't wanna **** this guy off.....
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