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Old 03-23-2006, 03:35 PM   #31
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Hon, you are preaching to the choir. I've had more than my share of bad relationships. I was too naive and wanted to believe that these people were everything they seemed to be only to be used, abused, and now cynical. How old are you?
24...not too cynical...yet.
See, you are still young and there is hope for you. I am not 24 or 34 and like I said the older you get the worse it gets. I don't know if I will ever meet someone that is my match. I don't worry about it. If it is meant to be then it will happen.

So, Sqela, this conversation bonnie94sse and I have had should make you feel a little better. You are not in the boat alone so grab an oar and ROW, ROW, ROW
I feel the same way, I don't worry about finding 'the one' anymore. It isn't a huge priority for me. I'm happy now and enjoying life. Soon I'll have another Bonne and things will be even better.
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Old 03-23-2006, 04:50 PM   #32
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I didn't meet the woman of my dreams until I was in my 30s. Until then I had a few really excrutiating letdowns, but now I'm sooooo thankful they didn't work out. I have two wonderful kids and a home full of love and I wouldn't trade it for anything.
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Old 03-23-2006, 05:10 PM   #33
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I didn't meet the woman of my dreams until I was in my 30s. Until then I had a few really excrutiating letdowns, but now I'm sooooo thankful they didn't work out. I have two wonderful kids and a home full of love and I wouldn't trade it for anything.
That is awesome to hear!! I am a hopeless romantic and your story makes me happy to hear!
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Old 03-23-2006, 05:39 PM   #34
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I didn't meet the woman of my dreams until I was in my 30s. Until then I had a few really excrutiating letdowns, but now I'm sooooo thankful they didn't work out. I have two wonderful kids and a home full of love and I wouldn't trade it for anything.
That is awesome to hear!! I am a hopeless romantic and your story makes me happy to hear!
I'm also a hopeless romantic... it'* what got me in so much pain when the prior relationships failed... lol

I just figured that I'd live my life, focus on being the right person, rather than looking for the right one. Then the right one came along when I didn't expect it. I also learned that I wanted relationships because of reasons not necessarily bad, but misguided. I have learned that its what I can give, that is more important, rather than what I get back. Love is a choice, not a feeling. A commitment, not a vibe.
Finally, I get it after all my failures and mistakes. It was like I went through these hard times to prepare to be a good husband and father.

So yes, it is a learning and growing experience. Please all you who are hurting -- don't become jaded!!! Just become better men and women and one day you will knock the socks off your future mate!
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Old 03-23-2006, 11:34 PM   #35
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in my experience sometimes all the cliches and the "chin up" responses to something that hurtful just lends itself to a "whatever" response... when i was going thru that chit i much rathered someone who had been thru it to talk seriously about it, not to just launch in to platitudes which didnt really serve a purpose. not so much about cheering someone up, because that will happen anyway, more about being there for someone to rant with.

when my ex cheated on me, i felt the almost irrepressable urge to punch anyone who spewed platitudes at me.
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Old 03-24-2006, 12:01 AM   #36
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in my experience sometimes all the cliches and the "chin up" responses to something that hurtful just lends itself to a "whatever" response... when i was going thru that chit i much rathered someone who had been thru it to talk seriously about it, not to just launch in to platitudes which didnt really serve a purpose. not so much about cheering someone up, because that will happen anyway, more about being there for someone to rant with.

when my ex cheated on me, i felt the almost irrepressable urge to punch anyone who spewed platitudes at me.
I just wanted to punch anyone period. It didn't matter what they said. Then I realized I needed to redirect my energy to more positive things. Those weren't meant to be for reasons I may never know. Things have worked out better in the long run and as I look back ... to quote Garth Brooks "Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers!"
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Old 03-24-2006, 12:05 AM   #37
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jwakamud
in my experience sometimes all the cliches and the "chin up" responses to something that hurtful just lends itself to a "whatever" response... when i was going thru that chit i much rathered someone who had been thru it to talk seriously about it, not to just launch in to platitudes which didnt really serve a purpose. not so much about cheering someone up, because that will happen anyway, more about being there for someone to rant with.

when my ex cheated on me, i felt the almost irrepressable urge to punch anyone who spewed platitudes at me.
Lol....I know what you mean, however the platitudes are meant to be cheerer-uppers rather than just a "whatever" reply. I view it as some people are not comfortable sharing personal experiences.

Now...Sqela...the way I see it...you knew this girl a few months, right? It'* a good thing she did this now rather than later...it'* a tough lesson, but one that we've all been through and will go through again.

In fact, the same thing happened to me last year...dated a guy for two months and then got the silent treatment. No return calls, no return emails, nothing. I ran into him last Sunday at the local store...it was quite funny actually, he saw me, we stared at each other in disbelief, then he ducked and ran. The only difference between your case and my case is that I already knew that he wasn't worth dating anymore. I was going to break up with him - he didn't give me a chance.

Some people are too immature to handle things properly. As much as I like to blast my ex-husband, I do have to say that he did handle things more proper...he told me right off when he started to have feelings for someone else. Granted, what he did in the ensuing year before we finally broke up was not totally proper, but still, I have to give the man credit for being honest. And that, my dear, was after having 4 kids and 15 years of marriage together.

Jaded? Nawww....Wiser? Definitely....it'* a learning process...one day you will look back and think, "I'm glad that didn't go further with her." In the meantime, it sucks, it hurts, it'* crappy. The best advise has already been given...get out with other friends and live life...it is truly too short to be wasted on worthless people.
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Old 03-24-2006, 12:15 AM   #38
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live and learn happens to all of us it gets better
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