The check is in the mail.

I'll respect you in the morning.

I'm from your government, and I am here to help you.

It'* only a cold sore.

You get this one, I'll pay next time.

My wife doesn't understand me.

Trust me, I'll take care of everything.

Of course I love you.

I am getting a divorce.

Drinking? Why, no, Officer.

I never inhaled.

It'* not the money, it'* the principle of the thing.

I never watch television except for PBS.

...but we can still be good friends.

She means nothing to me.

Don't worry, I can go another 20 miles when the gauge is on "empty."

I gave at the office.

Don't worry, he'* never bitten anyone.

I'll call you later.

We'll release the upgrade by the end of the year.

Read my lips: no new taxes.

I've never done anything like this before.

Now, I'm going to tell you the truth.

It'* supposed to make that noise.

I *love* your new _____!

...then take a left. You can't miss it.

Yes, I did.

Don't worry, it'* OK - I'm sterile.

Some my favourites:

I did not have sexual relations with the woman

Mission accomplished

This won't hurt a bit

Agreed x1000

The list didn't include "yes honey, this is 7 inches" It'* no wonder women are bad at math