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Old 12-23-2003, 01:46 AM   #1
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Default Another Favorite Topic - Xmas Song!

Just like it says, your favorite Xmas Song (Lyrics optional)

Mine is by Montgomery Gentry - Merry Christmas From The Family

Quote:
Mom got drunk and Dad got drunk
At our Christmas party
We were drinkin' champagne punch
And homemade eggnog
Little sister brought her new boyfriend
He was a Mexican
We didn't know what to think of him
Til he sang Feliz Navidad
Feliz Navidad

Brother Ken brought his kids with him
The three from his first wife Lynn
And the two identical twins
From his second wife MaryNell
Of course he brought his new wife Kaye
Who talks all about AA
Chain smokin' while the stero plays
Noel, Noel, The first Noel

Carve the turkey turn the ball game on
Mix Margaritas when the eggnog'* gone
Send somebody to the Quik-Pak store
We need some ice and an extention cord
A can of bean dip and some Diet Rite
A box of tampons and some Marlboro Lights
Hallelujah everybody say cheese
Merry Christmas from the family

Fran and Rita drove from Harlingen
I can't remember how I'm kin to them
But when they tried to plug their motorhome in
They blew our christmas lights
Cousin David knew just what went wrong
So we all waited on our front lawn
He threw the breaker and the lights came on
And we sang Silent Night
Oh Silent Night

Carve the turkey turn the ballgame on
Make Bloody Marys cause we all want one
Send somebody to the Stop 'n Go
We need some celery and a can of fake snow
A bag of lemons and some Dite Sprite
A box of tampons and some Salem Lights
Hallelujah everybody say cheese
Merry Christmas from the family

Feliz Navidad.
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Old 12-23-2003, 01:51 AM   #2
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Or "Santa'* Got a Semi" - clip available at

http://entertainment.msn.com/radio/l...&type=songclip
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Old 12-23-2003, 02:49 AM   #3
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Call me old fashioned, but I like David Bowie and Bing Crosby'* Little Drummer boy...and of course O Holy Night.
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Old 12-23-2003, 03:39 AM   #4
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Rusty Chevrolet by Da Yoopers

Dashing through the snow in my rusty Chevrolet
Down the road I go, sliding all the way.
I need new piston rings, I need some new snow tires;
My car is held together by a piece of chicken wire.

Chorus:
Rust and smoke, the heater'* broke, the door just blew away.
I light a match to see the dash and then I start to pray.
The frame is bent, the heater went, the radio it'* Ok.
Oh what fun it is to drive this rusty Chevrolet.

I went to the IGA to get some Christmas cheer.
I just passed my left front tire and it'* getting hard to steer.
Skidding down the road, spinning like a top.
I had to drag my Timberlands to get the car to stop.

Chorus

Bouncing through the snowdrifts in a big blue cloud of smoke.
People laugh as I drive by; I wonder what'* the joke?
I got to get to town to pick up the lay-away
'Cause Santa Clause is coming soon in his big ol' rusty sleigh

Chorus

BEST CHRISTMAS SONG EVER!!! please don't send me hate mail

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Old 12-23-2003, 03:40 AM   #5
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Da Yoopers are awesome!! Reminds me of this one:

Sleigh bells ring and I'm listening,
But I'm turning and twisting.
'Cause I'm itching up here,
And I'm scratching down there,
I'm walking in my winter underwear.

Now, the front is all battered,
And the back is is all tattered,
But, when I'm cold to the core,
I walk through the "trap door",
And up into my winter underwear.

Vell, I don't care if it rains or snows or freezes.
I yam so warm I yust don't give a hoot.
I put on all the stockings I can locate,
And I wear two pair of trousers with my suit.

But then I start to perspire
And then it sets me on fire.
'Cause I'm itching up here,
And I'm scratching down there,
I'm walking in my winter underwear.

Vinter snow is white and glistening,
But I'm turning and twisting.
I gotta scratch a little here,
I gotta scratch a little there.
I'm walking in my winter underwear.

I put my bathing suit away in moth balls,
And now I've got to adapt to snow balls.
Then I can't scratch my back;
I throw myself all aback.
I'm walking in my winter underwear.

Through rain and snow and ice I do not worry.
The winter come, I yust don't give a hoot.
My coat and hat and earmuffs keep my cozy
And I wear two pair of trousers with my suit.

But then to cope to other clothing,
Vell, the thing that I am loading,
Is when my face turn blue,
And contortions I go through,
Walking in my winter underwear.

They're from Sears-Rooobuuuck....
Walking in my winter underwear!
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Old 12-23-2003, 04:28 AM   #6
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CHORUS:
GRANDPA GOT RUN OVER BY A BEER TRUCK
COMING OUT OF WOODY'* CHRISTMAS DAY
GRANDMA GOT A JOB OUT AT THE BREWERY
I NEVER KNEW THAT SHE COULD DRIVE THAT WAY
1. GRANDPA WAS OUT DRINKING WITH THE FLOOZIES
SPENDING ALL OF GRANDMA'* HARD EARNED DOUGH
HE DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH TO PAY THE BAR TAB
SO WOODY TOSSED HIM OUT INTO THE SNOW

2. GRANDPA STOOD THERE FROZEN IN THE HEAD LIGHTS
HE LOOKED JUST AS HELPLESS AS A DEER
I DON'T THINK HE WAS AFRAID OF DYING
I THINK HE WAS AFRAID HE'D SPILL HIS BEER

(REPEAT CHORUS)

3. WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT HE'D END UP AS A ROAD KILL
SHE FLATTENED HIM RIGHT OUT ON THE CENTER LINE
HE COULD HAVE MADE IT TO THE CURB IF HE WERE QUICKER
BUT SHE BACKED IT UP AND SQUASHED HIM ONE MORE TIME

4. GRANDMA CRIED AND CRIED AT GRANDPA'* FUNERAL
NOT BECAUSE WE PEELED HIM OFF THE ROAD
ALL THE LOOT SHE GOT FROM HIS INSURANCE
WENT TO PAY THE BAR TAB THAT HE OWED

(REPEAT CHORUS)
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Old 12-23-2003, 04:37 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BonnieBrougham
Rusty Chevrolet by Da Yoopers

Dashing through the snow in my rusty Chevrolet
Down the road I go, sliding all the way.
I need new piston rings, I need some new snow tires;
My car is held together by a piece of chicken wire.

Chorus:
Rust and smoke, the heater'* broke, the door just blew away.
I light a match to see the dash and then I start to pray.
The frame is bent, the heater went, the radio it'* Ok.
Oh what fun it is to drive this rusty Chevrolet.

I went to the IGA to get some Christmas cheer.
I just passed my left front tire and it'* getting hard to steer.
Skidding down the road, spinning like a top.
I had to drag my Timberlands to get the car to stop.

Chorus

Bouncing through the snowdrifts in a big blue cloud of smoke.
People laugh as I drive by; I wonder what'* the joke?
I got to get to town to pick up the lay-away
'Cause Santa Clause is coming soon in his big ol' rusty sleigh

Chorus

BEST CHRISTMAS SONG EVER!!! please don't send me hate mail

as a michigander who spends lots of time in the "U.P." that is NOT how the song goes your off on a couple of words.. lol
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Old 12-23-2003, 04:54 AM   #8
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Drinking Around The Christmas Tree
(to the tune "Rocking Around the Christmas Tree")


Drinking around the Christmas tree at the Christmas party rush,
Faces are hung o'er the balcony, everybody is a lush.

Drinking around the Christmas tree, let the Christmas drunkards
through,
Later we'll do some vomiting, and our arms will hug the loo.

You will get an upset stomach feeling when you taste
Vodka through your nose, oh golly,
Deck the halls with boughs of holly.

Drinking around the Christmas tree, your hangover'* on its way,
Everybody'* wearing ice pack hats in the new old-fashioned way.

(drunken sax solo.)

You will get an upset stomach feeling when you taste
Vodka through your nose, oh golly,
Deck the halls with boughs of holly.

Drinking around the Christmas tree, your hangover'* on its way,
Everybody'* wearing ice pack hats in the new old-fashioned way.
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Old 12-23-2003, 05:12 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FiReDeViL
Quote:
Originally Posted by BonnieBrougham
Rusty Chevrolet by Da Yoopers

Dashing through the snow in my rusty Chevrolet
Down the road I go, sliding all the way.
I need new piston rings, I need some new snow tires;
My car is held together by a piece of chicken wire.

Chorus:
Rust and smoke, the heater'* broke, the door just blew away.
I light a match to see the dash and then I start to pray.
The frame is bent, the heater went, the radio it'* Ok.
Oh what fun it is to drive this rusty Chevrolet.

I went to the IGA to get some Christmas cheer.
I just passed my left front tire and it'* getting hard to steer.
Skidding down the road, spinning like a top.
I had to drag my Timberlands to get the car to stop.

Chorus

Bouncing through the snowdrifts in a big blue cloud of smoke.
People laugh as I drive by; I wonder what'* the joke?
I got to get to town to pick up the lay-away
'Cause Santa Clause is coming soon in his big ol' rusty sleigh

Chorus

BEST CHRISTMAS SONG EVER!!! please don't send me hate mail

as a michigander who spends lots of time in the "U.P." that is NOT how the song goes your off on a couple of words.. lol
I got that offline, and it'* SWAMPERS not Timberlands, what were they thinking!!! And I think it'* muffler instead of heater, but i'm not sure

MUST you read so much into this

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Old 12-23-2003, 06:18 AM   #10
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I'm hijacking my own thread, but...

The Restroom Door Said Gentlemen
(to the tune of "God Rest Ye, Merry Gentlemen")


The Restroom Door Said "Gentlemen", so I just stepped inside
I took two steps and realized I'd been taken for a ride
I heard high voices, turned, and found the place was occupied
by two old nuns, three old ladies, and a nurse -- what could be worse?
Two old nuns, three old ladies, and a nurse!

The Restroom Door Said "Gentlemen", it must've been a gag
'cause when I walked right in there, I ran into some old hag
She sprayed me with a can of mace and slapped me with her bag
I could tell this just wouldn't be my day, what can I say?
This just wasn't turning out to be my day!

The Restroom Door Said "Gentlemen", and I would like to find
that crummy little creep who had the nerve to switch the signs
'cause I've got two black eyes and one high heel up my behind
Now I'll never sit with comfort and joy -- boy o boy!
No, I'll never sit with comfort and joy!
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