what is the possibilty its a epc this is my parents car and im doing all the work i just dont want them to spend alot on solenoids and keep changing fluids if it is going to need a trans assembly, but i guess i need to drop the pan anyways to see if there is any debris in there

Yup.. you could test pressure etc and run it past a trans shop for a full diagnosis.

dropped the pan didnt find any chunks of anything just dirty fluid and looks like silver metal flake like you would dump in a paint gun thats what the silver spots are, no big debris just looks like dust, does anyone think this thing still has any life left

I think your clutches are gone.

update, well i ended up changing the filter and putting some new fluid in and some transx additive and it shifts through all the gears now but it has some trans noise at low speed basically taking off, sitting still and when going into reverse, guess it has a bandaid on it for now and we will see how long the trans will last, need to sell it lol

Like I said, looks like it'* worn out. Needs a rebuild. But this might help you limp a few more mile out of it.

FWIW..I've seen some great bandaid time from fluid/filter clean ups. My current car is pushing it'* 9000th mile after I pulled the drain plug (added myself) and it pooped clutch mud.