I don't have a spare key. Do we think a call to a dealer is on order? Or does anyone have any other ideas?

Try cleaning the key with some electrical/electronics cleaner. You can also try using the same to clean out the ignition switch. It sounds like a VATS issue. Here'* some info that might help on trying a by-pass. How to bypass the VATS system in a late model GM vehicle

If the by-pass works, then you are good to go.

Some things I just noticed... The gear select indicator in the gauge cluster isn't showing the P in yellow like it should and if I shift through the gears with the key in the run position none of the others change to yellow. Another thing I noticed, when I have the key in the run position, is that I can't turn the headlights off with the delay ****. It'* almost acting like the car thinks it'* in gear. Could something have gone wrong with the gear position mechanism thingy? lol Or would that all be related to a VATS malfuntion?

This is a 2000. Don't they have the transponder key instead of a resistor chip in the key that VATS used?

About the shifting...

Try seeing if you can click all the way to "1." If not, then the process for connecting the cable to the transmission shifter may have come undone. The clip that held the cable on an earlier car I had came unclipped and the cable slipped. I believe I didn't have 1 or 2 because of the change in length of the cable housing relative to the cable.

I checked the linkages the best I could and they all seemed to be properly connected. A couple other things I've noticed earlier also include... reverse lights not coming on when the shifter is in reverse (key on), and the safety switch (having to press the brake pedal to get out of park) is no longer doing it'* job either.
I can even shift out of park with the key in the off position.

I'm thinking some sort of sensor for the shifter may have gone bad. ?

With all the additional problems you keep adding to the post, I don't see how anyone can identify any and all problems that require solutions. I've looked in my FSM for the 2000 and based off the symptoms you've identified, the diagnostic triage is in four separate areas and requires 80+ steps to solve. Unless another member here has had similar problems and can give an example of what it took for them to fix, you might be better off to head to the dealer and pay for a Tech II scan and system diagnostics.

Yeah. I know something went really wrong here. I've got a friend that works at a dealership. I'll see if I can't get him down here, or get the car up there some how.

When you find out whats happening, other than needing to call in a priest and have the car go through the rights of exorcism; post back here what the problem and solution was so that others who may have the same problems can get a battle plan together to solve it.

Will do.

Purplehazeir was right. My car is possessed. Hooked the car up to a computer (not sure what kind, I wasn't there), the computer wouldn't recognize that my car even existed. Turned the key a handful of times, and out of nowhere it started right up and the computer detected my car. No codes. I come by to pick it up that night and whaddya know... no start. Turned the key twice, then it went. Started driving home and it died about a mile outside of town. Took it about 5 turns this time. Got it back into town and parked it. I hit the key for 2 straight days and nothing.

Yesterday, I go out and it fires right up. Even drove it out of town a couple of miles and back with no problems. I'm going to church after work and picking up a bottle of holy water. We'll see what that does.

Anybody else have any ideas? I'm fresh out.