A small boy was lost at a large shopping mall. He approached a uniformed policeman and said, "I've lost my grandpa!"
The cop asked, "What'* he like?"
The little boy replied,
"Miller Light and women with big *****".
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Three Kick rule

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural Tennessee. He shot and dropped a
bird, but it fell into a farmer'* field on the other side of a fence.

As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor
and asked him what he was doing.

The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to
retrieve it."

The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."

The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the United
States and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything
you own.

The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle
disputes in Tennessee. We settle small disagreements like this with the

"Three Kick Rule."

The lawyer asked, "What is the Three Kick Rule?"

The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, first I kick
you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and
forth until someone gives up."

The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he
could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.

The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the
attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot
into the lawyer'* groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick to the
midriff sent the lawyer'* last meal gushing from his mouth.

The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer'* third kick to his rear end sent him
face-first into a fresh cow pie. The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and
managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said,

"Okay, Now it'* my turn."



The old farmer smiled and said, "Naw, I give up. You can have the duck."