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Old 10-23-2010, 11:05 AM   #1
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Default Some good news and some bad news about whats been going on in my childhood

Ok so i haven't been on here much due to the fact that my gaming rig needs a new video card so i'm typing this on my old linux laptop.

Bad news: My family has been getting divorced. My parents are doing so many things now that its out of my mental capacity. I'm sure most of you have had gone through this. So my dad just recently got a trailer this thurs (6X12 double axle U-Haul trailer) and I helped him pack up for the past 2 days. He Is using a 2004 Jeep Grand Cherokee (4.0L V6) we bought over a year ago for my sister.Hes gonna use it to pull the trailer To Kansas because the Bonneville can NOT handle a 4-5k pound trailer and the Jeep can barely handle it itself. Anyway, my dad took off this morning. He came to my room, gave me a hug and kiss, and went. i caught him right before he left to tell him how much i was going to miss him and to give him a bear hug :P. Then, he left...With the Bonneville in my sisters name

Good news: I get to say in Georgia! The Bonneville is now in the garage! Just turned 14.


Anyway, I need help. How can i cope without my dad for months? What did you guys do when your dad left to cope?
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Old 10-23-2010, 01:22 PM   #2
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Well see i never Knew my real father.........But when my mom was pregnant with me she met a man that i call my dad they were divorced when i was 6 but i remember being very angry at my mom and acting like an *** until i was 12 i.e. breaking stuff getting in trouble with the authorites all that crap..DONT DO THAT you just have to understand the reason behind the divorce my parents fought allll the time when they were together and ever sense they have been apart they are pretty good friends..It may have been easier for me as my mom was real hard into drugs so i never saw her much and i was at home in a 5 bedroom 2 bath house in the middle of the woods by myself But i knew my dad loved me and he still does hell im 26 and living at his house untill i go to MO.. You just have to be the man of the house now now dont take that as meaning you have to grow up and be responsible(thats what i had to do but i had no mom)I mean you have to take care of your mom and sister and help them in any and everyway you can and always be there for them and remember your dad loves you with all his heart you are his Boy and you must never doubt that and always love him and embrace the time you do get with him.It may not make sense now but it will in time
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Old 10-23-2010, 01:27 PM   #3
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My parents didn't get divorced until I was in my late 20s. By that point I had already been living on my own for about 9 years. Still was a hard time. Change is something we all need to live with. How we handle change determines how strong we are. Just because you wont see him every day, doesn't mean you will never see him again. Look forward to the times you will have, and make the most of it.
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Old 10-23-2010, 01:34 PM   #4
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Ben...I'm sorry to hear what you are going through. Divorce is not easy on anyone it touches, especially when children are involved.

Though you're Dad is away, you need to stay in touch with him and let him know that he still matters in your life and that you miss him. Also, don't let Mom or Dad drag you into 'their issues'. When they start, and they will; bad mouthing each other to you and you're sister, you need to be the adult and tell them to knock it off - you don't want to hear what they have to say about each other and that the only thing that will happen is that you will learn to hate the one talking trash.

You will need to 'man up' a bit, but like 'SSEIDRIVER97' stated; you are still authorized to be a kid.

Family counseling is a good option as well for both you and you're sister. It can help you understand that this is not you're doing and that there are things that you can do and should not do to help you survive the ordeal.

Keep the faith little dude....you have a few of us older guys in here that can listen and help as need be.
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Old 10-23-2010, 01:39 PM   #5
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Yep our ears are always open if you ever need someone to talk to i pm'd you my cell number'*
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Old 10-23-2010, 02:26 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Purplehazeir View Post
Family counseling is a good option as well for both you and you're sister.
We already get family counseling every other Thursday. It helps out alot, and it helps me understand more of whats going on.


SSEI driver I really appreciate it.

Dan thats kinda how it is with my sister right now because she is getting ready to get an appartment and independent.


I'm really happy for all the support. It goes to show how great this forum is whether its cars or personal.
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Old 10-23-2010, 02:37 PM   #7
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Hey man this forum is alot like another family to me anyways.All the members on here are great people and we love to help no matter the problem why am i telling you??you already know all this lol
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Old 10-24-2010, 03:44 AM   #8
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Sorry I have been preoccupied and didn't see this earlier. Coping is rough. Talking things out/through always helps and glad to see you are putting an effort into that. One of the best things to do is not play the blame game. Not with your Mom, Dad, or yourself. Sometimes changes, interests, passions, and circumstances change in peoples life and things don't work out. It is certainly hard and rough for children and even friends of such things when they are so impacted and not connected to the causes. Love them both, give them space, and be their for each of them not playing against either. Whatever the reasons for the split, it will work better for you to have each even if you can't have them together. Don't let it become something that makes you regret your own actions from feeling down ans displaced. You've become a part of us here and we will always be around when you need to talk something out/over. And I personally hope for the day you post up a thread of you driving that Bonne with a license.
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Old 10-24-2010, 09:19 AM   #9
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I grew up without a father until I was 10, then I bounced around 7 different foster homes until just before I graduated from high school. I got into alot of trouble during those years. Some things almost prevented me from joining the Army.

Best thing to do, keep your chin up, look forward to good times with the family in the future and keep your nose clean.
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