Here are some things to check if you want to figure out what happened: Any coolant on the outside of the engine? On the ground underneath? If there was no evidence of an external coolant leak, it might be that an LIM gasket failed. That higher than normal oil is a concern. Does the oil smell of gasoline? Pull the oil drain plug and see if the first half-gallon flows green. Also check the tailpipe for the telltale sweet smell of coolant.

what'* wild is that the oil LOOKS normal on the stick..... but it may be the camera playing tricks on my old eyes. :?

With that being said, I suspect LIM issues also.

Regardless of what it ends up being, good luck with the repairs. I'd look for a JY motor it it were me.

Drained the oil today. I didn't notice any metal or what appeared to be coolant or water in it. It just looked like oil that needed to be changed....

Here are some pics to help.

Have you tried to start it since the night it was towed?

The water would be on the bottom of the pan if it were there. Although the amount looks about right.

You got lots of leaks though...

Cut open the oil filter and see whats in it.

I have not tried to start it since it was towed. Talked to my grandpa tonight, he is an old school mechanic that lives another state away. He says since I didn't find any metal in it, to fill it with 5 quarts with a new oil filter on it, and start it up. He also said if it sounds like it is in a bind to shut it down....

All agree with this?

Check the condition of the filter itself, when you take it off. It looks like a Fram. See if it has collapsed inside.

It is a Fram. Regardless of whether or not this is a simple fix if it were the oil filter, should I still do anything with the UIM or LIM?

Depends, did you coolant level change? If so, you'll probably need to do LIM and UIM gaskets.