1. You let your 14 year old daughter smoke at the dinner table in
front of her kids.

2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on
how much gas is in it.

3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a
different night.

5. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

6. Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, guys,
watch this."

7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

8. Your wife'* hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

9. Your junior prom offered day care.

10. You think the last words of the "Star-Spangled Banner" are
"Gentlemen, start your engines."

11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right
off its wheels.

12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your
spouse.

13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.

15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at
the House of Tattoos.

16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there'* a law
against it.

17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.


Bonus

An East Texas couple, both bonified rednecks, had 9 children. They
went to the doctor to see about getting the husband "fixed". The
doctor asked them why, after nine children would they choose to do
this.

The husband replied that they had read in a recent article that one
out of every ten children being born in North America was Mexican,
and they didn't want a Mexican Baby because neither of them could
speak Spanish.

Haha!!


I've read that one before, but its still darned funny! Good one Pdad!

Ok I'm quilty of two redneck offences. Never died......but been hurt alot after saying #6

Two catagories I can never get enuff jokes of, ...rednecks and blondes.........Hope the pontiac lady aint around............ back to the RACE!

HEHE FYI, thats PDads wife

He'* the redneck, she is the blonde J/K PMom and Dad, y'all know that already though

That right there would qualify moms ex husband for an all star award or something like that!! Yall veterens know who i am talking about!!

I think I had an uncle whose last words were something like that

i knew they were married, after I wrote blonde, I thought of a blonde post the didnt float well, but I left it....did I mention #6....I'm not all here, but most of the parts were found, This is about redneck jokes, more redneck jokes please. Please to meet ya P.Mom and Dad

This one is wrong. It'* actually "Somebody hold my beer for a second...."



I've seen this list several times, but it'* always good for a giggle!

I think another might be:

If the Tornado sirens are going off and you're outside with an open beverage saying "Where is that sumbitch?!" instead of taking shelter.

that one was very relevant last night, I myself acted out that very role

It was a low ceiling, It'* not?, we have a fridge in the laundry room.