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Old 06-01-2006, 01:18 PM   #1
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Default Why you should never take your husband shopping with you

Letter from Department Store:

Dear Mrs. Fenton, our store is considering banning your family from ever shopping with us unless your husband stops his antics. Below is a list of offenses over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras.

MEMO
Re: Mr. Bill Fenton - Complaints - 15 Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse/partner is shopping:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people'* carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M'* on lay away.

6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks ’Why can't you people just leave me alone?’

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It'* those voices again!!!!"

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited a while; then, yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
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Old 06-01-2006, 01:21 PM   #2
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LMAO...That was funny...

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Old 06-01-2006, 01:21 PM   #3
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Thats funny. Gives me some ideas next time I go to Wal-mart
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Old 06-01-2006, 01:23 PM   #4
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I just want to know which one of the BC members this is about... :P
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Old 06-01-2006, 01:38 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BLACK94SSEi
Thats funny. Gives me some ideas next time I go to Wal-mart
That'* how I saw this list originally. It'* been posted several times as "How to have fun at WalMart"

This is a funnier way to present it tho!!
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Old 06-01-2006, 01:42 PM   #6
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I do most of those already (except picking my nose). I like to go to the toy section and if there is a button to push- I push them all and then blame it on Jeff.
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Old 06-01-2006, 01:53 PM   #7
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Lol! I figured that someone might have posted it before. I'm not exactly on the cutting edge here. I rely heavily on Tasmanian racing snails to get me my information.
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Old 06-01-2006, 03:10 PM   #8
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Drive back and forth between entrances screaming "THE BRITISH ARE COMING, THE BRITISH ARE COMING!"
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Old 06-01-2006, 03:33 PM   #9
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ah the good times i've had at wal-mart
i have been kicked out a few times too... and i've done some of those things too... my favorite thing to do is me and my friends will play marco polo between the ailels! Fun Fun Fun
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Old 06-01-2006, 03:36 PM   #10
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Throw stuff over the shelves at other people.
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