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Old 08-18-2006, 12:20 PM   #1
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Default Who'* yo Daddy?

I may have posted this before, 'cause they're old...but that'* the advantage of short-term memory loss. I find things as funny each time I see them...

When someone puts in for Child Support, the proper thing to do is to find out who the father is and see why he is not providing support. The following are all replies that Dallas women have written on Child Support Agency forms in the section for listing father'* details. Or putting it another way....Who'* yo' Daddy!
These are actual excerpts from the forms.
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1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, child A was fathered by Jim Munson. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of child B, but I believe that he was conceived on the same night.

2. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.

3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party at 3600 Grand Avenue where I had unprotected sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father, can you send me his phone number?! Thanks.

4. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto heels in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he'* had it replaced.

5. I have never had sex with a man. I am still a Virginian. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son'* conception was immaculate and that he is Christ risen again.

6. I cannot tell you the name of child A'* dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country. Please advise.

7. Peter Smith is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him, can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs? Child B who was also borned at the same time.... well I don't have a clue.

8. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Disney World; maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom.

9. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening. If I'd have stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 146 Miller Drive, mine might have remained unfertilized.

10. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all when you eat a can of beans, you can't be sure which one made you fart.
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Old 08-18-2006, 12:24 PM   #2
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Those are preatty good Lash. Keep them coming
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Old 08-18-2006, 12:29 PM   #3
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Quote:
10. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all when you eat a can of beans, you can't be sure which one made you fart.
This may be my favorite...
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Old 08-18-2006, 12:34 PM   #4
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Funny...I recently saw the movie Mr. and Mrs. Smith

she replies to him at one point "312".. to which he says "312?? HOW?" and her reply "Some were two at a time"

Seems to me 312 would either need to be one busy person...After the first 100 or so...who can keep track of a name?
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Old 08-18-2006, 12:35 PM   #5
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Very nice.
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