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Old 11-15-2005, 10:20 PM   #1
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Default What if.........!?!?!

This is an e-mail I just finished reading... leaves you wondering and thinking about it. Makes me laugh at the parts about cutting other countries off. Maybe they'd think twice! This just makes me even more glad that I'm leaving for the A.F.



WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.*. PRESIDENT,
DEMOCRAT
OR REPUBLICAN GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?


My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has
been
completed.

Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our
mission in Iraq is complete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American
forces
from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now to
begin
the reckoning.


Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries
which
have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short.
The
United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the
countries listed there.

The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the
world'*
nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing
copies of
both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those
nation ons on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money
saved
during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the
Iraqi
war.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world
Hellholes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this
money
toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On
that
note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt
you
down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.

Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe China.

I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with
France,
Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are
retiring
from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many
UN
diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid
parking
tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and
crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You
creeps
have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or
watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of
the
finest chop shops in the world. I love New York.

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are
likely to
be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not
pissing
us off for a change.
Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt
government
really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra tank and
infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put em?
Yep,
border security.

Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty -
starting
now.


We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for
oil
in Alaska - which will take care of this country'* oil needs for
decades to
come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer
you
to List 2 above: pick a country and move there. They care.
It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own
citizens.
Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn
tootin."


Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the
world
has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the
planet.
It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate
homelessness in America. To the nations on List 1, a final thought.
Thank
you guys. We owe you and we won't forget.

To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to
speak
Arabic.


God bless America. Thank you and good night.

If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in
English,
thank a soldier.
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Old 11-15-2005, 10:23 PM   #2
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That was cool.

PS, did you fwd it to Bush? lol
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Old 11-15-2005, 10:27 PM   #3
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No sh*t... wonder what he'd say. Maybe... "Oh now I know what to do!" I'm not bashing him though, I wouldn't trade him for KERRY EVER! He'* made progress even though we've had some losses, that possibility comes with serving your country. "Service before self"
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Old 11-15-2005, 10:31 PM   #4
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Service before self my white behind. Because of him, my dad sat jobless for almost 2 years, we almost lost everything, and I mean everything. If my grandpa hadn't have died and left us his house, we'd literraly be living on the street right now, because everybody got laid off. That'* all I'm gonna say, though.
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Old 11-16-2005, 10:34 AM   #5
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Default Re: What if.........!?!?!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Melissa
WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.*. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?
No, and that'* all I'll say...
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Old 11-16-2005, 10:38 AM   #6
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Since nearly 25% of our members are Canadian, and they're on list 2 in your email, I'm going to lock this one down.

Not to mention out Mexican, Russian, and German members.
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