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Old 03-22-2007, 02:21 PM   #31
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I see this as a great learning experience for him. Let'* admit his sister wasn't the role model he needed to learn from. I'd say punish, being careful that you don't push the punish far enough to get rebellion that would lead to future incidents.

Victor impressed me as very level headed and forward thinking... Being the first offense and his ability to crack under pressure, it seems you might have this one settled with minor punishing.
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Old 03-22-2007, 02:30 PM   #32
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Just make sure he understands the reasons for your actions and everything associated with it. If he doesn't completely understand then it wont sit right, which could easily cause problems down the road.

At the same time, be thankful that he didn't use this oppertunity to go out and then have to figure out a way home while under the influence.
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Old 03-22-2007, 02:40 PM   #33
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I forgot to mention that trust is the main thing. Trust is not given it is earned. Victor needs to know that he will have to rebuild the trust that you have given him thus far.

He needs to realize what scenarios might have occurred while he was sleeping and what it could have ended up costing you. Is it worth you having to pay thousands of dollars in litigation if someone fell down or tripped while drunk and hurt themselves inside the house or drove and killed someone else. Their parents would sue your tail in a heartbeat and blame you for leaving him alone.

You need to be stern but not extreme.
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Old 03-22-2007, 03:19 PM   #34
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all this over a party? the way I look at it BTW (I am a 17year old kid who is still doing the same things said above) If nothing got broken no one got hurt people just had a good time and got really drunk i see no need for punishment but thats just me
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Old 03-22-2007, 07:14 PM   #35
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rogers
all this over a party? the way I look at it BTW (I am a 17year old kid who is still doing the same things said above) If nothing got broken no one got hurt people just had a good time and got really drunk i see no need for punishment but thats just me
rogers, when you start paying for things like a mortgage and start paying rent or paying some of the bills, you don't know what it is like to be a parent. I must say rogers, if getting really drunk (underage) is what you consider being a good time, then you are really showing that you are not mature enough to understand the consequenses of what might of happened. If this were my child and she admitted to me that she had a party in my home while I was away, there would be hell to pay. There is no way on God'* green earth that she would get away with that. She would be grounded until the summer and no cell phone for at least 2 weeks. I know it may sound harsh, but like Tracy said, trust is earned, not given, and in my mind Victor did a big no no, he broke your rule, and he did not learn from Chynna'* mistakes.
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Old 03-22-2007, 07:28 PM   #36
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rogers i understand you are intent on living it up but there is not only the monetary issues to look at. Think about this if there were "promiscious" girls there you know that stds could be floating around and God forbid someone got pregnant. It would come back on paul as he was the "host" or at least the responsible party.Paul I would say that you have raised a pretty good son if he has that kind of trust from his friends. just remember that he did admit to it but it was after he was pumped for info and I would thank him for fessing up. My parents always said I am upfront and honest the punishment is less. all I am going to say is be fair and know that things can blow up like that with out much of his control.
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Old 03-22-2007, 07:31 PM   #37
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BootCamp..... No seriously

If it were my son I honestly don't know what i would do for a punishment. Silver your his father I'll respectively leave that up to you...

Now about your mini vacation and them having to find other accommodation'* hmmmmmm why not have someone stay at the house with them? I would say go for it, if you were going tomorrow but in a month and a bit i dunno. Just remember you must dole out a punishment fast so they don't forget why make it severe but don't draw it out.
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Old 03-22-2007, 07:43 PM   #38
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Paul:
Tracy is right on the money. I hope your son realizes that he lost a lot of your trust and must earn it back.

Although I am older, I would never think of having a party without inviting the parents. Heck my dad would have a seat by the keg and the grill and talk with everyone at the party. Old fashoned but fun none the less.
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Old 03-22-2007, 08:17 PM   #39
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No driving for "one month" until April 18

Driving to a boy is like a cell phone to a girl.......at least that applies to my children.

He knows about our Chicago trip now and that neither he nor Chynna will be allowed to stay home alone.

He took it well and accepted without any whining.

He'* at work right now mulling over his punishment.

Hell ya that'* gonna hurt but it could have been a lot worse.

I'm proud that I didn't raise my voice and kept my cool the whole time.......except maybe that first hour I found out on Sunday.
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Old 03-22-2007, 08:59 PM   #40
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Keeping your cool the whole time while doling out the punishment is more punishing than yelling. I remember screwing up as a kid, and my dad would very calmly and quietly tie into me. Scared the crap outta me!!!

I wish I knew how he did that. Woulda come in handy when my kids crossed the line

And rogers... I remember being your age, and thinking the same thing. God, was I worng. And it didn't take me long to figure out how wrong I was once I had kids of my own. It'* a whoile different world from this side
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