well...She left me.
 

My girl finnaly confessed to me today that she just isnt physically attracted to me anymore. I dont know what to do. I am at a loss for words. Im hurt. I dont want to be here anymore. I cant stand the pain of this crap!!!! I love her with all i got. I have loved her with all of me and more since day 1. I .....forget it.

Was she a "hottie"?
One cannot expect them to stick around. How long were you with her?

The fat and/or ugly women seldom pull this stunt. They may look like dogs but they are faithful as dogs also.

It is easy to fall in love with something that looks good. I am assuming your lady was beautiful cause you seem upset by this.
BUT you should remain friends so that the other hotties will notice and you can line up another one...

BOY it is a good thing I am not a psychologist. :?

Chevy, since I don't know you or your situation it's hard to give any sort of advice. In most close relationships with the situation you've stated, the signs are usually there way before it comes to this point. Are you still able to talk to her and see where you both went off track, in other words is it deeper then what you have expressed here? Was she attracted to you once and your appearance has changed? The only adivce I can give you at the moment is, talk to her and see what the real problem is and then you both can decide whether it's really time to move on.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It's what's inside that counts for alot also. Keep that in mind. People's personality to me counts for a lot.

She isnt the hottest one out there. there are certainly better ones, but we had a connection that I cant have with anyone else. We were together for a year the 9th of this month. Go to my myspace. There should be a pic of her there.

Hang in there, bud. Not all hope is lost. She may just need some time, and come back after a break. Or, you'll find someone else.

And we're pretty good about listening to people's vents and rants here. If you gotta "talk" about it, we gots lots of ears.....

When MOS95B says something serious, take it serious. He is normally the forum jokester. :lol:

I find it a little strange that a woman would dump a guy based on physical attraction. How many hot women do we see with the goofiest guys on the planet?
The profile phot of chevyboy looks like a normal guy. We cannot see the G/F cause the rest of the myspace is set private.

bud i think we have all been there but you know it is kinda like me and my ex. if you have been around for a while I am sure you know the details but you know she is now married and happy. I got a great gf now and well life goes on. as cliche as that sounds it is true. The quote "this too will pass" comes to mind. hang in there if you need an ear i got 2 lol

Thanks guys. Il see if I can set the profile to public for a while. Ill do it later today. man....Thanks

And some wonder why I put my money into my car.

Keep your chin up and things will work themselves out. Life sucks..then you work on your car. ;)

I set my profile to public. check it out now.

Word.

:slap: Get your head out of your behind :roll: Looks have nothing to do with it. IF it does with you (impatient99) then you are superficial and will never have a "real" relationship. You have to remember that beauty fades and you will need to have someone that is capable of keeping you company. You sound like you are young and you definately have a lot to learn. I have never dated a guy based on looks. I've dated some good looking men but I like men that make me laugh, have a playful nature, and can be strong if I need a shoulder to cry on. I would never just date someone because they were hot. That leads no where.

As for chevyboy- Sorry to hear she broke your heart. It sucks but it will get better. Dont do anything stupid. No one is worth giving up your precious life for. If it is meant to be she will return. If she doesn't return you will find someone better. Keep the faith my friend!!

My girl and I fell upon hard times recently, it was just our 3 year anniversary about 5 days ago. Our relationship got kind of sucky the past year, but we decided to stick it out and try and make it better rather than give up. I was heartbroken when she told me she wanted to break up...I didn't eat for 5 days (literally, at all) and was pretty depressed. Luckily she still loves me enough to give our relationship a chance to get better.

But I know how you feel, and I'm really sorry about that. It sucks to have it end when you're still so into it.

[Edit: Sad attempt to cheer ya up removed]

You guys dont even know, I mean you do, but its just my way of starting or ccontinuing a conversation, She has left me before do to A. The wreck I was in made things unstable for both of us. And the second time was because we couldnt see eachother as often as we liked because of our families. And now that things are legit and we were doing just fine..."I realized that I am not physically attracted to you anymore. I mean, yeah your hot, but when i kissed you good-bye yesterday, i diddnt feel the butterflies or any emotions anymore. i love you Eric, Im just not sexually or physically attracted to you any more.. Ill always love you. Its just that i need nore than emotion right now. i need the physical attraction as well Eric."

"Well...I tried Jaye. I gave you all I could, I loved you with all my heart and did all I could. I love you. i have told you in the past that I will always be here for you as your man or as your friend. But froom what you have said, I dont think I will be your man again because you dont want me to. Goodbye Jayelynn." Click.

That was a brief summary of our phone call.

That's rough man. Hang in there. My girlfriend told me kind of the same thing, but she wasn't willing to give up on our relationship.

You're a good person, and I know how you feel. You've dedicated your heart to this girl and the only thing that can help is some time. You will get over it and you will find someone else, it will just take a while for you to realize this.

Things will get better, I promise you. Yes, it sucks right now, but as time goes on, it will get better. I've been there, I know what's it's like to be on not only your end of this, but hers also. It's good to talk about it all whether it be with her, your friends, or us. It helps to not keep everything inside. If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to PM me.

:btruestory: The story of my life.

Thanks Pearl. Im just, not to sound emo psyco but honrstly, i just want to die. I turned down UTI for her because she said she wanted to move out of her house and move in with me. I changed my whole life for her. She told me sunday that she was not happy with the way my priorities were. That she diddnr like being first. So i started to rearrange myself and now this. I have nothing here to look forward to. Absolutely nothing!!!!!! I have no reason to be here anymore. She was everything. I gave her all she wanted. money, love, affection, everything man!!!! I just gave her $300 yesterday!!!! Can i feel anymore used?!?!?!?!?! I just wanna die. people are lucky im still in school right now.

You need to find things to do to help keep her off your mind. Sitting home saulking about it is not good. It will just get you more depressed. Go out and do things with your friends, like I said, just stay busy. It'll be okay. I can totally understand that you feel used and whatnot. I have a question for you. Did it ever come across your mind that there might be more to it that she says there is? I'm not trying to bum you out or anything but I'm a girl, and I did the same thing one time a few years back and it wasn't all about the attraction not being there anymore. I found someone new that I had more fun with and whatnot. I dunno, not saying thats what she has done, but it could be a possibility. Dont beat your self up over it, it's probably not your fault. It could just be personal issues with herself, and she's using the other things as an excuse as a way out. JMO. :?

https://i130.photobucket.com/albums/...an0001_001.jpg

She is the 2nd girl from the right, or fourth person from right to left. Im the second guy and the guy in front of her is my buddy Jossue who is also on this forum.

https://i130.photobucket.com/albums/...an0002_002.jpg

After a couple days, it is time to concentrate on finding a new girlfriend. As soon as you do this, you will forget all about the ex. Seems hard to understand now with your mood but it is really that simple.

Even if you do not like the new one as much, it will take your mind off the old one and you will feel better.

You're still young,don't get tied down too early ;) ;)

Give yourself some recuperating time and then go out and find someone new ;)

https://i130.photobucket.com/albums/...an0002_002.jpg


:roflmao: please refrain from showing this photo agian, with a mug like that, I can hardly blame her :lol:

just kidding homes, I know your hurt right now but hey, a lot of people have been there ;) Relationships aren't the easiest thing to be in (trust me I find myself arguing a lot) this will pass, and perhaps it was needed for Both of you to grow in a different direction towards other things, lifes funny that way.

Chin up bro. Hurts like mother fucking hell, I know, many of us have been there. Right now you can't imagine how you can go on without her, maybe might even be a little angry at her for doing this to you. No matter how bad the pain is right now I promise, it WILL fade with time. Little by little it will go away and you will think of her less and less and then eventually you'll be glad to have things the way they will be.

I say these things from expeirence, I was about your age when I had my heart ripped out the first time (long story for another time, and I know some of you would be shocked to find out I have a heart ;) )

give her time to think, no matter how she treats you treat her with respect and you will always comeout looking like the better person.

Some one once told me "If you love something you have to let it go, if it comes back to you it's yours, if it doesn't, it never was"

all this after-school special stuff gets a little thick at some times.

i find myself agreeing with sse14.

while ive had my heart ripped out a number of times, stepped on a few times, and blended until it made a nice, red puree once or twice, that doesnt mean i know what youre going through. if its anything like what i went through, then youre hurting pretty badly. it was 2 years before i got out of the pain last time (if you call what i am now "out of it"). its never gone away, still sitting in the back of my chest hurting a little. if this is the end, youll probably always wonder why or what you could have done differently. but now you have two options. live on or die. obviously the former is infinitely better than the latter, as the former contains hope. but that doesnt mean you need to cut the greiving process short. in some ways, getting dumped or dumping is worse than a death. because with a death, its not usually a choice. but a breakup hurts a lot because of the choice involved. especially as relationships grow in length, theres a definite parallel between a breakup and a death.

odd, exactly what i chanted to myself in the darkest times has already been stated. but ill reiterate, with the emphasis that this is what helped me through.

this too, shall pass.

but grieve as long as you need to -- were here to help.

This will be a true test of how much a "man" you are. Dude, you are only 18, you have tons of years ahead of you with tons of relationships in your future if you want them. Get through this, don't get all hung up over this one, you have to be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. In a year or so you'll look back at this day and say eh, chauk one up to experience! I was devastated when I broke up with my WIFE, thought it was the end of the world, wondered if I'd ever be happy again, and here I am today 12 years later never looking back and feeling better and happier than ever! Live for tommorrow dude, not in yesterday!!!!!! ;)

Just my advice but take it for what its worth................Good luck man!!!!!!

Brianj said it perfect . "LIVE FOR TOMORROW NOT YESTERDAY" After I broke with my high school love I spent 7 years in a bottle and a bag looking for the easy way out. Tried that way and then figured it out. If something doesnt work out the way you think it should today it is because tomorrow something much better will come your way. Side NOTE sober 100% since may 23rd 2005. Had tried long time for that day. My fiance finally said yes to a date that same day.First Date may 25th 05 . We have been Together since and will be getting married most likely this summer. After spending 7 years looking at things the wrong way, One other thing is a definete fact. " THIS TO SHALL PASS"

These things are never easy, been there done that. But I agree with pearl_bonnie, get out and hang with friends etc. Know that it is going to be hard, really hard. But take this time to examine things, from the relationship and other things. Learn and grow from it, that would be my best advice. And if that doesn't help you can come to my office and we can do some real counseling, I'm not cheap though. lol j/k

Let it go man. You could spend days, months, years over this and it isn't worth it. She hit the road on her own accord and there's nothing you can do about it....'cept hang the "vacancy" sign out and wait for the next one to come along.

Yeah, I'm also in the same school of thought as the others...Hook up with your freinds and go have some fun.

A few years back when i went though a bad break up i was a mess, but i took the opertunity to change everything that i didn't do because of her and had the best summer of my life! and, even better, i meet my fiance that summer as well and i wasn't even looking for a girlfriend. just make things about YOU and make sure YOU have fun. Get your life going where you want it to and you'll meet someone who is heading in the same direction as well.

Chevy boy, I know your hurting inside and I know the pain your going through.

I myself have become single about 3 weeks ago. I was with my Ex for 6 years. We had built a life together and she was a big part of it. Things happen over time and finally it was time to let go. Were still friends and we talk here and there, but I still find myself feeling a little empty at times, like when I wake up in the morning, my routine is not so routine anymore.

Your a young guy and have lots to look forward to. Keep thinking of the positives in life and rest assured that if this girl wasnt "the One" then it wasnt meant to be. You will always have people in and out of your life and just know that you have friends here on Bonnvilleclub that will listen and offer their own experiences and help.

Dont give up on yourself. Use this time to think about what you want to do next in life, and although others suggested getting into another relationship, I say lay low on that for a while until your over your pain. Rebound relationships dont usually last.

Just know that when your feeling down, just do your best to keep your head up and do the right thing. Think of the possibilities of what you can do to better yourself and learn from this experience. I'm sure the way she broke up with you, left you feeling pretty badly, but you have to get over that and realize that you didnt do anything wrong.

Just keep going and dont give up on yourself. As they say, time heals all wounds, and although you have shared part of your life with her, and made her a part of your life, it is now time to move on and think about yourself and what lies ahead for you and your future.

Thanks guys...And girls.... Yesterday was really hard. I called her after school and asked her if this is the way she really wanted it to be_ she said yes. I asked if this was a never ever or a we shall see_ She said never ever. I am so hurt guys, its prety bad now. But, I called My UTI rep and asked him if he could put me back on the roster for august. He said he thought id never ask. So Im back on track for UTI. I have nothing here in The Monterey Bay for me anymore. Screw it. I will love her until the day I die. She got me, and i fell for her prertty hard. She will always be my baby.

I know this is gonna sound a little immature but, its my way of dealing with it. i cant see her name without wanting to cry, so I deleted her contact from my phone.


I feel dead. I feel insignificant, like.... A doll used to confort somone when they felt lonely.

Im not alive anymore.

You will feel that way for a while. I've lost a few women, and it's always the same. The "stay busy" advice is probably the best for now. Keep your mind busy so you don't have as much time to torture yourself. Just don't make it worse by trying to drink it away. Trust me... :oops:

On a side note, my on is out in Monterrey right now with the USAF!

Best thing you can do now i feel is distance yourself from her. don't call her or write her... you'll feel better over time.

whoever said "time heals all wounds" was an idiot.

it wont heal, itll scar. but it will stop bleeding eventually.

The way I look at it, its all up to the individual if it heals or if it scars :idea:

Consider this one of the many chapters in life that has now been completed. Now its time fo rthe next chapter and its up to you to make it better than the last!!

As you can tell from all of the posts here, were all behind you and share in your pain. Your going to be okay dude!! ;)

This was my experience, women in my life aways seemed to break up with me for one reason or another. My average relationships lasted 3 to 4 years each. And each time I felt like throwing up, couldn't sleep, got really depressed and after each time I didn't want anything to do with girls. I swore I never wanted to get hurt like that Ever again. I went out with my wife for 4 years before I I married her at age 28 and we've been married for 21 years.....you do the math. I would go through my past hurt again in a heart beat just knowing that I'll ended up with my best friend Cathy for life...You have a loooong time still and believe me the chances of getting hurt again are.............well ..........I let it go at that. As most have said, it hurts like a son of a B****, but it will pass in days months years.........it will pass. It's what I call the cycle of life my friend.

Sorry to hear about the break up. As it's all been said already, you are young, so you have plenty of time to find another girl. Just take it easy and surround yourself with friends and family to try and take your mind off of her. I think maybe you are just too young right now, and maybe she will come around. She will realize before long that it isn't all about physical attraction. You could be the most handsome man in the world, but if she isn't emotionally there with you, then the physical attraction won't be there either. Just get on with your life, and in time you will be happy. Heck, a guy that goes to my church is on his third wife. The first two were great marriages, but they both died, and his current wife is awesome. So if he can find love again, I'm sure you will.

all I will add is don't drink away the pain some of the stupidest stuff I have done has been after my wife left and after my ex and I called it quits. but life goes on and I am as happy as can be with my new gf. I am 23 btw so I still got a couple years till I am even going to consider a marriage type relationship. Enjoy being young taste what is out there and trust me when I say people change as they get older so just keep that in mind when you think that you found the one at 18 wait till you are over the college age thing then really look. I know I am not one to talk I was young and dumb too but hey I am happy were I am at now and that is all that matters. be happy with you and you alone then you can add a gf to the mix