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Old 10-28-2006, 11:17 AM   #1
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Default well im depressed now

i know i know dern emo kids but im usually not even emotional. just sit there and laugh at funny stuff but this has got me down. i was with this girl for 2 years and we broke up because she cheated on me. its been 5 months and shes 3 months pregnant with his kid. but she doesnt know who the daddy is and the "father" doesnt know she slept with anyone besides him during thier relationship. should i tell him or not? hes a good guy but shes crazy and i dont want anything falling back on her while shes carring
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Old 10-28-2006, 11:47 AM   #2
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No... stay out of it. You say he'* a good guy, yet he was the one she cheated on you with. Your true underlying motives are to get back at him and her. It'* her mess, she needs to deal with it. If you meddle, it will only cause more problems for you (she'll hate you, he'll hate you, whatever). This will not help you get over your heartache any...it will simply prolong it.

Bottom line... good thing you got out when you did. Sometimes people are not who you think they are. It stinks...I know... do yourself a favor, stay as far away from them as you can. Trust me...
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Old 10-28-2006, 11:51 AM   #3
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Well, since it isn't possible right now for a DNA test, the best that you (and the other guy for that matter) is to be amicable to each other if at all possible...afterall, there is no need for BOTH of you guys to think each is the father, when it *should* be in BOTH your minds that only ONE is. BUT if the other guy IS the real father and wants no part of it, then you my friend will have a decision to make. Do you like/love her enough to continue the relationship? How would you feel about raising a child that isn't yours? And, will she go after you for support if things do not go as planned?

There are plenty of "what ifs" to consider, but whatever is decided, please keep the well being of that child in mind. Im in a similar boat...I have a legal daughter that is not biologically mine (my ex wife got prego while we were still active military, and separated due to military reasons, so she couldn't just say this child was not mine because that would mean brig time for her...though we DO share a bio son together), and though I have never laid eyes on her, I treat her as though she was my own by buying all the Christmas and birthday, and all Halloween stuff...whatever my son gets, she gets, no questions asked. And I don't mind that at all...it shows that I am the better man, gives that child something to look forward to, and absolutely floors my ex. And I know one day, I will meet this little girl and hope she accepts me as much as my son does.

Stick around, even if this child isn't yours. Get tests whenever they are available to run, not only to put your mind at ease, but to protect you as well.
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Old 10-28-2006, 12:11 PM   #4
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Hmmm.... I was making the assumption that since they broke up 5 months ago... and she'* 3 mos pregnant, that they hadn't been together since.

Now...if you are the one she was cheating on him with....well.... now you have a different dilemma.
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Old 10-28-2006, 01:12 PM   #5
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no she didnt cheat on him with me. hes a good guy and deserves to know
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Old 10-28-2006, 01:19 PM   #6
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Stay out of it. Why are you depressed? You should be glad she'* out of your life.
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Old 10-28-2006, 01:32 PM   #7
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well i still love her i guess. we almost had a kid and she miscarried. just bringing up bad memories i guess
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Old 10-28-2006, 05:49 PM   #8
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I think he deserves to know something was up. Perhaps an anonymous letter mailed from another zip code that simply says "I'm sorry to do this, but you deserve honesty. Be sure to have the baby dna tested." Let him put two and two together.
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Old 10-29-2006, 12:16 AM   #9
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I agree with both sides, but you also dont need that kinda delima. She cheated on YOU with HIM.He should already know what kinda person she is if she cheated on you. You seriously dont need that kinda drama. It really wont help you get over her. Im sorry to hear that happened to you, I have had similar things happen with some of mine. The guy I was dating cheated on me with my supposed to be best friend. Well she got pregnant, but when he was cheating on me with her, she was cheating on him with her ex. So he still thinks the baby is his. Its not fair to the child, or anyone else for that matter. But still . Follow your heart,and your gut. Your gut will never lead you the wrong way.
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Old 10-29-2006, 12:37 AM   #10
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Just remember- They always kill the messenger. I would stay out of it. Most people would think you have ulterior motives for making the accusation and it won't be pretty.
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