A ... walks into a bar...
A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We have a drink here named after you." The grasshopper says, "You have a drink named Bob?"
---------------------------------------------------------------------- A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop. --------------------------------------------------------------------- A mushroom walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, "I can't serve you." The mushroom says, "Why not? I'm a fun-guy." ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Guy walks into a bar with a duck on his head. The bartender looks up and says "Where did you get that ape?" Guy says, "This isn't an ape, it's a duck". Bartender says "I was TALKING to the duck". ---------------------------------------------------------------------- A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Hey, why the long face?" ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Bacon and Eggs walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast." ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Two blondes walk into the bar....You'd think one of them would of seen it? ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: "Pint please, and one for the road." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A five-dollar bill walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Get outa here! We don't serve your type. This is a singles bar. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A chicken walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve poultry!" The chicken says "That's OK I just want a drink." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A pony walks into a bar and says "Bartender, may I have a drink?" Bartender says "What? I can't hear you. speak up!" "May I please have a drink?" "What? You have to speak up!" "Could I please have a drink?" "Now listen, if you don't speak up I will not serve you." "I'm sorry, I'm just a little hoarse." --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A baby seal walks into a bar and sits down. "What can I get you?" asked the bartender. "Anything but a Canadian Club" replied the seal. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A neutron walks into a bar. "I'd like a beer" he says. The bartender promptly serves up a beer. "How much will that be?" asks the neutron. "For you?" replies the bartender, "no charge" ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Descartes walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "Would you like a beer?" Descartes replies "I think not" and POOF! he vanishes. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A snake slithers into a bar and the bartender says, "I'm sorry but I can't serve you." "Why not?" asks the snake. The bartender says, "Because you can't hold your liquor." ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Two peanuts walked into a bar, and one was a-salted. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, 'I think I've lost an electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first says, 'Yes, I'm positive.' --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Two cartons of yogurt walk into a bar. The bartender, a tub of cottage chesse, says to them, "We don't serve your kind in here." One of the yogurt cartons says back to him, "Why not? We're cultured individuals." |
lol
a bear walks into a bar and orders a drink. the bartender says we dont serve bears in here. the bear says he will eat the woman at the end of the bar if he dont get a drink. the bartender says whatever. the bear eats the woman and says now can i have a damn drink ! the bartender says we dont serve bears. especially bears on drugs. the bears says drugs ?? the bartender says yeah.....that was a bar.bitch.you.ate.
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I came up with about 150 of these camping one time, and they were funny as hell, mainly because I was drunk. Too bad I forgot them all.
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Sol...heres the JD, get drinkin, I have a pad of paper and pen..
3...2...1..GO :lol: |
A man walks into a bar...the second one ducks
--- A 3 legged dog walks into a saloon and says "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw" -- |
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