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Old 07-20-2005, 12:32 AM   #1
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Default Understanding Engineers

Oldies but Goodies....

Understanding engineers
>
> Understanding Engineers - Take One
>
> Two engineering students crossing the campus when one said,"Where did
> you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was
> walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman

> rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all
> her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The first engineer nodded
> approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
>
>
>
>
> Understanding Engineers - Take Two
>
> To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass
> is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs
to be.
>
>
>
>
> Understanding Engineers - Take Three
>
> A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
> particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What'* with
> these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!" The doctor
> chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!" The
> pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let'* have a word
> with him." "Hi George! Say, what'* with that group ahead of us?
> They're rather slow, aren't they?" The greens keeper replied, "Oh,
> yes, that'* a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight
> saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play

> for free anytime."
> The group was silent for a moment. The pastor said, "That'* so sad. I
> think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor said,
> Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see
> if there'* anything he can do for them." The engineer said, "Why can't

> these guys play at night?"
>
>
>
>
>
> Understanding Engineers - Take Four
>
> What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil!
Engineers?
> Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build targets.
>
>
>
>
>
> Understanding Engineers - Take Five
>
> The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The
> graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The
> graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The
> graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
>
>
>
>
>
> Understanding Engineers - Take Six
>
> Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the
> possible designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical
> engineer." Just look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an
> electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of
> electrical connections." The last one said, "Actually it was a civil
> engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a
> recreational area?"
>
>
>
>
>
> Understanding Engineers - Take Seven
>
> "Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, ! don't fix it."
> Engineers believe that "if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough
> features yet"
>
>
>
>
>
> Understanding Engineers - Take Eight
>
> An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was

> better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said
> he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an
> enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his
> mistress, because the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer

> said, "I like both." "Both?" "Yeah.
> If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are
> spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get
> some work done."
>
>
>
>
>
> Understanding Engineers - Take Nine
>
> An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him
> and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He
> bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke

> up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful
> princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the
> frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
> The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a
> princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the
> engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his
> pocket.Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm

> a beautiful princess, and that I'll stay with you for a week and do
> anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
> The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a
> girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that'* cool."
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Old 07-20-2005, 12:41 AM   #2
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Quote:
Understanding Engineers - Take Four
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil! Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build targets.
That'* a funny one lol
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Old 07-20-2005, 12:57 AM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LakevilleSSEi
Quote:
Understanding Engineers - Take Four
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil! Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build targets.
That'* a funny one lol
That'* great. I'll defintely be busting on my civil buddies with that one. haha
All of those were great. I'm saving this.
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Old 07-20-2005, 01:04 AM   #4
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Those are great!
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Old 07-20-2005, 01:55 AM   #5
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Quote:
> Understanding Engineers - Take Seven
>
> "Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, ! don't fix it."
> Engineers believe that "if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough
> features yet"

definately...
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Old 07-20-2005, 12:56 PM   #6
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Quote:
Understanding Engineers - Take Two
>
> To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass
> is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs
to be.
So tru...so funny
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Old 07-20-2005, 01:00 PM   #7
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I dunno if it applies to a future technologist like myself, but LOL
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Old 07-20-2005, 04:34 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 2000SilverBullet
Understanding Engineers - Take Four
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil! Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build targets.
And Combat Engineers bring the two together!!!

Good stuff!!
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