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Old 12-25-2005, 08:07 PM   #1
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Default These never happen in any movie or show -

NOPE, these never happen in the movies. Add to this list as you see fit.

As something explodes, people dive away from it.

Every police investigation finds it'* way to a gentleman'* club.

One shot instantly blows up any car, and kills any bad guy, BUT
The good guy always gets shot only in the shoulder, with no less bleeding than a thumbtack would. And not so much as the word "ouch" out of his mouth.

Every car crash involves a car flipping a side 180 and exploding after that 180.
(this one makes me laugh my butt off...)

The car never starts when you are in the most trouble. Until the last second...It just needs verbal encouragement (come on, come on come on...) (that should be in our tech info )

A hand grenade detonates into a huge fireball (not even close to truth)

As a person is watching the news of something involving themselves, they always turn off the TV? (I would be interested in what they are saying )

Romances are perfect. Even after the worst incident, it ends with an apology and a kiss, and a promise...

Kids understand, and the parents NEVER freak out when kids mess up. (Yes darling, I know you accidently smashed my $1000 Gibson to splinters, and you know you did wrong, I am afraid you are gonna have to be punished )

ANY car can outrun a police car. Even a Chevette can outrun the Caprice classic or Grand Vic. (billboost, quit selling them the superchargers )

When the bad guy has the good guy at gunpoint, he will not shoot him, but bad guy will sit there and flap his jaw and wave the gun until another good guy comes to the rescue of original good guy.

The police/911 squad show up AFTER the crime is solved by the undercover. And never a question is asked about the $1,000 worth of damage caused by speed chases and blowing up buildings.

Lights make buzzing noises, real loud, in haunted places.

Punches and kicks make loud slapping sounds.

A car can withstand a 10 foot drop, as long as it lands on it'* tires, and keep moving.

There is ALWAYS an escape route, and the good guy knows exactly where. (Go this way thru the plenum, and there is a vent on the NE side..., where there just happens to be a ladder...)

Any time of year, a guy can escape his predator by blending with with a nearby St Patric'* day parade.

Some more anyone? I have observed some of these, and read about others...
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Old 12-25-2005, 08:48 PM   #2
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Front end damage to a car magically repiars itself
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Old 12-26-2005, 10:50 AM   #3
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Grocery bags always have celery stalk or french bread sticking up from top.
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Old 12-26-2005, 11:01 AM   #4
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All single women have a cat

A police officer will die on the day he'* going to retire if his family is planning a party

Detectives can't solve a case untill they're suspended

Any lock can easily be picked with a credit card or hair pin, unless the building is on fire and someone is trapped on the other side.

You'll die in a war If you show someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

Women will investigate scary places in their scimpiest clothes.

If you're outnumberred in a fight your opponenets with attack one by one while the others cicle around you in a threatening manner untill you have defeated their predecess.or
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Old 12-26-2005, 11:11 AM   #5
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And the whole sex in an airplane bathroom with a beautifull woman. I'm sorry, but I've only seen f'ugly ***** go for doing it in one of those filthy things.
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Old 12-26-2005, 10:38 PM   #6
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Have you ever seen a car chase, where in every couple scenes, it is a different car? Walker Texas Ranger does it all the time.
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Old 12-26-2005, 10:48 PM   #7
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Seeing the cars driving around but the gearshifter on the column is still in park- Thats always a favorite.
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Old 12-26-2005, 11:00 PM   #8
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Any tractor, no matter how big or new, has same soundbyte of a small 1940'* 4 cylinder tractor.
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Old 12-27-2005, 03:15 AM   #9
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everyone can hold their breath for a long period of time underwater while doing a strenuous activity

airplanes take forever to take-off when being chashed

when someone falls off a cliff they use the sound clip from Star War IV when the stroomtrooper falls in the death star
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Old 12-27-2005, 07:01 AM   #10
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Car tires always squeal, even when cornering on dirt roads.
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