After returning from his honeymoon in Florida with his new bride, Virginia, Luigi stopped in his New York neighborhood barbershop to say hello to his friends.

Giovanni said, "Hey, Luigi. How was a da treep?"

Luigi said, "Ever'thing was a perfect except for da train a ride down."

"What'a you mean, Luigi?" asked Giovanni.

"Well, we boarda da train at Grand Centrala Station. My beautifula Virginia had packed a biga basket a food with vino and cigars for a me, and a we were looking a 'forward to da trip.
All was OK until we gotta hungry and opened up a da luncha basket.
The conductor came by, wagged his a finger at us and a say, 'No eat in dese'a car. Must'a use'a dining car.
So, me and my beautiful'a Virginia, we go to dining car, eat a big'a lunch and begin to open'a bottle of vino!

The Conductor walk by me again, wag his'a finger and say, 'No drink'a in dese'a car. Must'a use'a club'a car. So we go to club'a car. While'a drinking vino, I start to light'a my big'a cigar.
The conductor, he wag'a his finger again and say, 'No smoke'a in dese'a car. Must'a go to smoker car.
We go to smoker car and I smoke'a my cigar.

Later, my beautiful Virginia and I, we go to sleeper car and'a go to bed. We just about to have'a sex and the conductor, he walk'a through car corridor shouting at top of his voice, 'NO-FOLK'A, VIRGINIA!' 'NO-FOLK'A VIRGINIA!

Next'a time, Ima driva down to Florida"

long but funny

Ba-dump-*****...