Strange Answers on Driving Tests
08-23-2004, 12:34 PM
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Strange Answers on Driving Tests
Strange Answers on Driving Tests
The following are purportedly a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation'* driving school (that is, Saturday Traffic School for moving violation offenders.)
1. Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
What for? He can't see my license plate.
2. Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?
The pickup truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do."
3. What are the important safety tips to remember when backing your car?
Always wear a condom.
4. When driving through fog, what should you use?
Your car.
5. What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?
I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.
6. What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?
I would be forced to drive unlawfully.
7. What are some points to remember when passing or being passed?
Make eye contact and wave "hello" if he/she is cute.
8. What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
The color.
9. How do you deal with heavy traffic?
Heavy psychedelics.
10. What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?
Carry loaded weapons.
The following are purportedly a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation'* driving school (that is, Saturday Traffic School for moving violation offenders.)
1. Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
What for? He can't see my license plate.
2. Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?
The pickup truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do."
3. What are the important safety tips to remember when backing your car?
Always wear a condom.
4. When driving through fog, what should you use?
Your car.
5. What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?
I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.
6. What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?
I would be forced to drive unlawfully.
7. What are some points to remember when passing or being passed?
Make eye contact and wave "hello" if he/she is cute.
8. What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
The color.
9. How do you deal with heavy traffic?
Heavy psychedelics.
10. What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?
Carry loaded weapons.
08-23-2004, 11:59 PM
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Well, everyone knows the right answers are:
1. Depends on how far across he is and if I I'm driving the Porsche or the Land Rover. After all, ground clearence is always a concern in those kinds of situations.
2. The one in the $120,000 SUV, of course. Which would be me.
3. Always have an excuse if something goes wrong. And be sure to hire a bodyguard if that something that goes wrong happens to involve some snot-nosed little Mexican. After all, those Latino mothers can be so hot-tempered sometimes...
4. The Bentley with the chaffeur. The name of the game IS shifting the blame, after all.
5. There wouldn't be a problem, unless I didn't have the officer on my payroll yet. The other officers usually get the rookies in the know before they let them have them have a car, anyhow. I've had assurances of that.
6. That question is assuming one was once allowed to drive lawfully. I find that question discriminatory and the subject of a possible lawsuit. I'll see you people in court.
7. Well, there'* points A, B, C, and D, in ascending order of importance.
8. No difference. I'd run them both.
9. I tend not to have those problems, being as in those kind of conditions I tend to prefer my Bell 430 to the Rolls.
10. Do I care? Only the plebs drive in heavy traffic...
1. Depends on how far across he is and if I I'm driving the Porsche or the Land Rover. After all, ground clearence is always a concern in those kinds of situations.
2. The one in the $120,000 SUV, of course. Which would be me.
3. Always have an excuse if something goes wrong. And be sure to hire a bodyguard if that something that goes wrong happens to involve some snot-nosed little Mexican. After all, those Latino mothers can be so hot-tempered sometimes...
4. The Bentley with the chaffeur. The name of the game IS shifting the blame, after all.
5. There wouldn't be a problem, unless I didn't have the officer on my payroll yet. The other officers usually get the rookies in the know before they let them have them have a car, anyhow. I've had assurances of that.
6. That question is assuming one was once allowed to drive lawfully. I find that question discriminatory and the subject of a possible lawsuit. I'll see you people in court.
7. Well, there'* points A, B, C, and D, in ascending order of importance.
8. No difference. I'd run them both.
9. I tend not to have those problems, being as in those kind of conditions I tend to prefer my Bell 430 to the Rolls.
10. Do I care? Only the plebs drive in heavy traffic...
