Something to offend EVERYONE! Mature Audience Warning - GM Forum - Buick, Cadillac, Chev, Olds, GMC & Pontiac chat


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Old 07-27-2006, 10:01 AM   #1
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Default Something to offend EVERYONE! Mature Audience Warning

>> > SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE!

>> >

>> > What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?

>> > Juan on Juan

>> >

>> > What is a Yankee?

>> > The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

>> >

>> > What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?

>> > The position of the dirt bag

>> >

>> > Why is divorce so expensive?

>> > Because it'* worth it.

>> >

>> > What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?

>> > Doughnuts

>> >

>> > Why is air a lot like sex?

>> > Because it'* no big deal unless you're not getting any.

>> >

>> > What do you call a smart blonde?

>> > A golden retriever.

>> >

>> > What do attorneys use for birth control?

>> > Their personalities.

>> >

>> > What'* the difference between a girlfriend and wife?

>> > 45 lbs

>> >

>> > What'* the difference between a boyfriend and husband?

>> > 45 minutes

>> >

>> > What'* the fastest way to a man'* heart?

>> > Through his chest with a sharp knife.

>> >

>> > Why do men want to marry virgins?

>> > They can't stand criticism.

>> >

>> > Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive,

>> caring, and good-looking?

>> > Because those men already have boyfriends.

>> >

>> > What'* the difference between a new husband and a new dog?

>> > After a year, the dog is still excited to see you

>> >

>> > What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

>> > The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

>> >

>> > Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?

>> > Because they have cotton balls.

>> >

>> > What'* the difference between a porcupine and BMW?

>> > A porcupine has the ****** on the outside.

>> >

>> > What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?

>> > "Are you sure it'* mine?"

>> >

>> > Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?

>> > Mace will do that to you.

>> >

>> > Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?

>> > Everyone has the same DNA.

>> >

>> > Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?

>> > Breasts don't have eyes.

>> >

>> > Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?

>> > He walks around saying "Yo."

>> >

>> > Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car

>> only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?

>> > Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

>> >

>> > Where does an Irish family go on vacation?

>> > A different bar.

>> >

>> > Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?

>> > They named him "Sum Ting Wong".

>> >

>> > What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?

>> > A speech impediment.

>> >

>> > What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?

>> > They're hiring.

>> >

>> > What'* the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?

>> > A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of

>> the cage along with... "a recipe".

>> >

>> > How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?

>> > Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

>> >

>> > What'* the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?

>> > A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." -A southern

>> fairytale begins "Y'all ain'tgonnabelievethisshit....

>> >

>> >

>> > Why is there no Disneyland in China?

>> > No one'* tall enough to go on the good rides
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Old 08-04-2006, 11:31 AM   #2
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Oh you know this was funny...
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Old 08-04-2006, 11:32 AM   #3
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And how old it is....

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Old 08-04-2006, 11:34 AM   #4
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Not to sound like a RP ranger but.............

http://www.bonnevilleclub.com/forum/...ghlight=offend
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Old 08-04-2006, 11:34 AM   #5
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is today dig up your own post day?
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Old 08-04-2006, 11:37 AM   #6
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apparently...i do apologize...

but i have not been keeping up with things here...so im trying to catch up....
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Old 08-04-2006, 11:39 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wjcollier07
apparently...i do apologize...

but i have not been keeping up with things here...so im trying to catch up....
It'* OK. Apparently we all suffer from alzhiemers on occasion.
Unfortunately yours seems to be a case of early on-set
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Old 08-04-2006, 11:46 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dbeast420
Not to sound like a RP ranger but.............

http://www.bonnevilleclub.com/forum/...ghlight=offend
thats just not fair
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Old 08-04-2006, 12:54 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dbeast420
Quote:
Originally Posted by wjcollier07
apparently...i do apologize...

but i have not been keeping up with things here...so im trying to catch up....
It'* OK. Apparently we all suffer from alzhiemers on occasion.
Unfortunately yours seems to be a case of early on-set
I guess we do, I read it the second post and forgot the first.
and Laffed all over again.
Some us get it early on and it called Potheimers desease
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Old 08-04-2006, 06:54 PM   #10
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I for one was dissapointed, you promised something to offend everyone, I was not offended.
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