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Old 06-18-2007, 06:16 PM   #1
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Default Some One-liners

Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker

A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.


Q. What'* a mixed feeling?

A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.


Q What'* the height of conceit?

A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.


Q. What'* the definition of macho?

A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.


Q. What'* the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?

A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball


Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?

A. They spray paint X'* on the back of the sheep that kick!


Q.Why is divorce so expensive?

A. Because it'* worth it!


Q. What is a Yankee?

A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone


Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?

A. They both like a tight seal.


Q. What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common?

A. Their balls are just for decoration.


Q.What is the difference between "ooooooh"and "aaaaaaah"?

A. About three inches.


Q. Why do Gay men wear ribbed condoms?

A. For traction in the mud.


Q: What'* the difference between purple and pink?

A. The grip.


Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?

A. It'* not hard.


Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?

A: Kick his sister in the jaw.


Q: What'* the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?

A: 45 pounds.


Q: What'* the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?

A: 45 minutes.


Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?

A: Breasts don't have eyes.


Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?

A. The swallow.


Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?

A: Six inches is medium, Nine inches is rare.


Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?

A They don't have balls to scratch!
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Old 06-18-2007, 06:33 PM   #2
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quite a few made me laugh.
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Old 06-18-2007, 10:39 PM   #3
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Default Re: Some One-liners

Quote:
Originally Posted by popatim
Q.Why is divorce so expensive?

A. Because it'* worth it!
Amen............Can I get a Hellejuha?!?!?!?!?
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Old 06-18-2007, 10:58 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by popatim
Q. What'* a mixed feeling?

A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.


My dad'* friend told that one a while back. I found it to be hilarious.
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Old 06-18-2007, 11:30 PM   #5
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lmao, thats funny stuff. very very funny. thanks alot for those!
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Old 06-19-2007, 10:28 AM   #6
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That'* just what I needed first thing in the morning. Don't really want to be at work so bc keeps me preoccupied Thanks
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Old 06-19-2007, 10:44 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by crash'swife93ssei
That'* just what I needed first thing in the morning. Don't really want to be at work so bc keeps me preoccupied Thanks

I know what you mean mate, working from 9:00 - 5:00 only thing that keeps me going is bc.
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