Some One-liners
06-18-2007, 05:16 PM
#1
PopaDopaDo
True Car Nut
Thread Starter
Some One-liners
Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker
A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
Q. What'* a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
Q What'* the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
Q. What'* the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.
Q. What'* the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball
Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?
A. They spray paint X'* on the back of the sheep that kick!
Q.Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it'* worth it!
Q. What is a Yankee?
A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone
Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?
A. They both like a tight seal.
Q. What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common?
A. Their balls are just for decoration.
Q.What is the difference between "ooooooh"and "aaaaaaah"?
A. About three inches.
Q. Why do Gay men wear ribbed condoms?
A. For traction in the mud.
Q: What'* the difference between purple and pink?
A. The grip.
Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
A. It'* not hard.
Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.
Q: What'* the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 pounds.
Q: What'* the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes.
Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.
Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
A. The swallow.
Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?
A: Six inches is medium, Nine inches is rare.
Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A They don't have balls to scratch!
A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
Q. What'* a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
Q What'* the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
Q. What'* the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.
Q. What'* the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball
Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?
A. They spray paint X'* on the back of the sheep that kick!
Q.Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it'* worth it!
Q. What is a Yankee?
A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone
Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?
A. They both like a tight seal.
Q. What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common?
A. Their balls are just for decoration.
Q.What is the difference between "ooooooh"and "aaaaaaah"?
A. About three inches.
Q. Why do Gay men wear ribbed condoms?
A. For traction in the mud.
Q: What'* the difference between purple and pink?
A. The grip.
Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
A. It'* not hard.
Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.
Q: What'* the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 pounds.
Q: What'* the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes.
Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.
Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
A. The swallow.
Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?
A: Six inches is medium, Nine inches is rare.
Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A They don't have balls to scratch!
06-18-2007, 09:39 PM
#3
Senior Member
Certified Car Nut
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: My reclining computer chair
Posts: 11,269
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Re: Some One-liners
Originally Posted by popatim
Q.Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it'* worth it!
A. Because it'* worth it!
06-18-2007, 09:58 PM
#4
Junior Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Purgatory
Posts: 0
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Originally Posted by popatim
Q. What'* a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
My dad'* friend told that one a while back. I found it to be hilarious.
06-19-2007, 09:44 AM
#7
Senior Member
Posts like a Turbo
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 227
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Originally Posted by crash'swife93ssei
That'* just what I needed first thing in the morning. Don't really want to be at work so bc keeps me preoccupied Thanks
I know what you mean mate, working from 9:00 - 5:00 only thing that keeps me going is bc.
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post
whitecrystal1
Detailing & Appearance
15
02-17-2007 02:50 PM
BonnieBrougham
Lounge
3
12-16-2004 05:38 PM
