Since she's getting to be that age....
Application for Permission to Date My Daughter
NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor. 1. NAME: ___________________________ DATE OF BIRTH:_________________ 2. HEIGHT:__________ WEIGHT:_________ IQ:___________ GPA:____________ 3. SOCIAL SECURITY #:______________ DRIVER'S LICENSE #: ______________ 4. BOY SCOUT RANK:_____________________________________________ ___ 5. HOME ADDRESS: ____________________ CITY/STATE:________ ZIP:_______ 6. Do you have one MALE and one FEMALE parent: Yes/No. Explain: __________________________________________________ __________ 7. Number of years parents married to each other:___________________________ 8. Do you own a van? ______ A truck with oversized tires?_____ A waterbed?_____ 9. Do you have an earring, nose ring, belly button ring? _______ A tattoo? ________ 10. In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you: __________________________________________________ _________________ 11. In 50 words or less, what does "ABSTINENCE" mean to you: __________________________________________________ _________________ 12. In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you: __________________________________________________ _________________ 13. Church you attend: _______________________ How often? _______________ 14. Best time to interview your father: _____; mother: ______; clergyman: ________ 15. Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely. All answers are confidential (meaning I won't ever tell anyone; honest, I promise). A. If shot, the last place on my body I would want to be wounded is __________________________________________________ _________________ B. If beaten, the last bone on my body I would want broken is __________________________________________________ _________________ C. A woman's place is in the ____________________________________________ D. The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is __________________________________________________ _________________ E. When I first meet a girl, the thing I first notice about her is __________________________________________________ _________________ (NOTE: if answer begins with a "t" or an "a", discontinue filling out application, keep your head low, and run away in a serpentine fashion). 16. What do you want to be if you ever grow up? __________________________________________________ __________________ I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE. UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKER, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE. Signed: __________________________ (Sign your name, moron). Thank you for your interest. Please allow six to eight years for processing. You will be notified in writing of approval. Please do not call or write. If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentlemen wearing white ties and carrying violin cases. You are cautioned to watch your back. |
And how did you ever pass that application?
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Originally Posted by BillBoost37
And how did you ever pass that application?
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Originally Posted by MOS95B
Originally Posted by BillBoost37
And how did you ever pass that application?
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Filed for future use...
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Originally Posted by BillBoost37
Originally Posted by MOS95B
Originally Posted by BillBoost37
And how did you ever pass that application?
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i hope i never have to fill one of these out :lol:
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Originally Posted by Lowrider0308
i hope i never have to fill one of these out :lol:
I suggest you show up early....like 6-8 years..lol |
Originally Posted by BillBoost37
Originally Posted by Lowrider0308
i hope i never have to fill one of these out :lol:
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Originally Posted by BillBoost37
Originally Posted by MOS95B
Originally Posted by BillBoost37
And how did you ever pass that application?
All I can say to potential daters of my daughter is "I ain't afraid to go back to prison".... :lol: |
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