RULES FROM THE MALE SIDE (For Hailey) - GM Forum - Buick, Cadillac, Chev, Olds, GMC & Pontiac chat


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Old 11-19-2003, 08:42 AM   #1
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Default RULES FROM THE MALE SIDE (For Hailey)

This will help with the Card situation discussed in another thread...

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. Please note: these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

# 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it'* up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

# 1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

# 1. Sunday sports. It'* like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

# 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

# 1. Crying is blackmail.

# 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! We'll get it for you, but just LET US KNOW WHAT YOU WANT!!!

# 1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on the calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

# 1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

# 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. Please pick one.

# 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That'* what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

# 1. A headache that lasts for seventeen months is a problem. See a doctor.

# 1. Let us know about that funny noise in your car engine as soon as you hear it.

# 1. Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

# 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria'* Secret girls, don't expect us act like soap opera guys.

# 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer, but still love you.

# 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

# 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

# 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

# 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what Mauve is.

# 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

# 1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

#1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing'* wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

# 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

# 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really, you look fine!!!

# 1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.

# 1. NASCAR is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

# 1. I AM in shape. ROUND is a shape

# 1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it'* like campin'
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Old 11-19-2003, 09:45 AM   #2
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LOL...I'm gonna wait for her to show up before I lay down a comment or 5...hahahaha :P
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Old 11-19-2003, 11:53 AM   #3
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Some of those I can disagree with.....

but they are dam funny.
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Old 11-19-2003, 11:59 AM   #4
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I can send that to all the girls i know, and they will still be evil.

But does that stop me from trying?
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Old 11-19-2003, 12:02 PM   #5
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Damn right Jason ...FIGHT THE POWER
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Old 11-19-2003, 02:22 PM   #6
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I like the one that Tamaras dad told me.. he saw a bumper sticker that says

"threw out my encyclopedia.. wife knows everything"


DING DING....

In dis corna.... we have MOS... in de oder cona.. Hail and Kill !!! with manager loraina Bobitt
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Old 11-19-2003, 03:35 PM   #7
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lol i will try to keep these things in mind....i'm probably gonna be single for awhile though. the last boyfriend was more confusing than ME!

Ugh, opposite sex problems suck.

--Christine
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Old 11-19-2003, 04:56 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DarkSided23
lol i will try to keep these things in mind....i'm probably gonna be single for awhile though. the last boyfriend was more confusing than ME!

Ugh, opposite sex problems suck.

--Christine
oorrrr shooo sorray LIT-tle one relationships can go moe SOWA dan cheap Fie Dolla WhoaA !!! Press on and learn fom eet.. no wat no good foe hu..

Relationship as mista Saki says WAX ON !!1 WAX OFF !!! EASY COME !!! EASY GO !!!

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Old 11-19-2003, 05:01 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Drifter420
Quote:
Originally Posted by DarkSided23
lol i will try to keep these things in mind....i'm probably gonna be single for awhile though. the last boyfriend was more confusing than ME!

Ugh, opposite sex problems suck.

--Christine
oorrrr shooo sorray LIT-tle one relationships can go moe SOWA dan cheap Fie Dolla WhoaA !!! Press on and learn fom eet.. no wat no good foe hu..

Relationship as mista Saki says WAX ON !!1 WAX OFF !!! EASY COME !!! EASY GO !!!
Mista Meeagi!!!
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Old 11-19-2003, 05:11 PM   #10
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LMAO...thats great im gunan email that to my gf...lol
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