A real woman is a man'* best friend. She will never stand him up and never let him down.

She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day.

She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do; to live without fear and forget regret.

She will enable him to express his deepest emotions and give in to his most intimate desires.

She will make sure he always feels as though he'* the most handsome man in the room and will enable him to be the most confident, sexy, seductive and invincible...No wait... Sorry!

I'm thinking of whiskey. It'* whiskey that does all that !

Never mind.

Amen! I'll drink to that. In fact, I think I'll have some whiskey!

Bahaha! Well, I'm off to drive 4 hours through the snow to get my whisky.. I mean woman.

Carefully pulling the cork out...and putting it back in!

This may be one of those few times I actually use it...

using you hand on it dont count!!!!

My girlfriend never finds these kinds of jokes funny. I wonder if she doesn't understand them.

You might need to explain them to her.

For some reason, this made me go; Eeeeeeeeewwwww!!!!!. If ya got to pull a cork out, I prefer to leave it alone for about a week.

EEeeewwww..