Rated R: Viewer descretion advised - GM Forum - Buick, Cadillac, Chev, Olds, GMC & Pontiac chat


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Old 10-02-2002, 10:41 AM   #1
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Default Rated R: Viewer descretion advised

Beer ~vs~ *****
>A beer is always wet.
>A ***** needs encouragement.
>Advantage: Beer.
>A beer tastes horrible served hot.
>A ***** tastes better served hot.
>Advantage: *****.
>
>Having an ice cold beer makes you satisfied.
>Having an ice cold ***** makes you Hillary Clinton.
>Advantage: Beer.
>
>Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones.
>***** does not.
>Advantage: Draw.
>
>If you get a hair in your teeth consuming *****, you are not disgusted.
>Advantage: *****
>
>24 beers come in a box.
>A ***** is a box you can come in.
>Advantage: *****.
>
>Too much head makes you mad at the person giving you a beer.
>Advantage: *****.
>
>If a beer is brewed with yeast, it is still edible.
>Advantage: Beer.
>
>If you come home smelling like beer, The Woman may get mad.
>If you come home smelling like *****, she will definitely get mad.
>Advantage: Beer.
>
>6 beers in a night and you better not drive.
>6 pussies in a night and you have done all the driving you need.
>Advantage: *****
>
>Buy too much beer and you will get fat.
>Buy too much ***** and you will get poor.
>Advantage: Draw
>
>It is socially acceptable to have a beer in the stands at a football game.
>You are a legend if you have a ***** in the stands at a football game.
>Advantage: *****
>
>If a cop smells beer on your breath, you are going to get a breathalyzer.
>If a cop smells ***** on your breath, you are going to get a high five.
>Advantage: *****
>
>With beer, bigger is better.
>Advantage: beer.
>
>Wearing a condom does not make a beer any less enjoyable.
>Advantage: beer.
>
>***** can make you see God.
>Beer can make you see the porcelain God.
>Advantage: *****
>
>If you think all day about the next ***** you will have, you are normal.
>If you think all day about your next beer, you are an alcoholic.
>Advantage: *****
>
>Peeling labels off of beers is fun.
>Peeling panties off of ***** is more fun.
>Advantage: *****.
>
>If you try to snag a beer at work, you get fired.
>If you try to snag a ***** at work, you get hit with sexual harassment.
>Advantage: Draw
>
>If you suddenly drop a beer, it may break.
>If you suddenly drop a *****, it may hunt you down like the dog you are.
>Advantage: Beer.
>
>If you change to another beer, your old brand will gladly have you back.
>Advantage: beer.
>
>The best ***** you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it.
>Advantage: *****.
>
>The worst ***** you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it.
>Advantage: Beer.
>
>Bad beer: Schlitz, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Old Swill.
>Bad *****: Roseanne, Janet Reno, Madeline Albright.
>Advantage: Draw
>
>Good beer: Guinness, Sam Adams, Killian'* Red
>Good *****: Almost all but the above.
>Advantage: *****.
>
>The government taxes beer.
>Advantage: *****.
>
>It'* a close call, but the numbers never lie.
>Advantage: *****.
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Old 10-02-2002, 11:07 AM   #2
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I retract my previous liver statement.
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Old 10-02-2002, 11:23 AM   #3
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Did you know that you can tell from the skin whether a person is sexually
active or not?
* Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when woman make
love they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, which make hair shiny
and skin smooth.
* Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering
dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the
pores and makes your skin glow.
* Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that romantic
dinner.
* Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and tones
up just about every muscle in the body. It'* more enjoyable than swimming
20 laps, and you don't need special sneakers!
* Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases the body
endorphin into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving
you with a feeling of well-being.
* The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually
active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones.
These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy!
* Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE
EFFECTIVE THAN VALIUM.
* Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages saliva
to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes
decay, preventing plaque build-up.
* Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release the
tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain.
* A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a national
antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever. ENJOY SEX!!! Good
Sex.
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Old 10-02-2002, 02:55 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Drifter420
Did you know that you can tell from the skin whether a person is sexually
active or not?
* Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when woman make
love they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, which make hair shiny
and skin smooth.
* Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering
dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the
pores and makes your skin glow.
* Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that romantic
dinner.
* Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and tones
up just about every muscle in the body. It'* more enjoyable than swimming
20 laps, and you don't need special sneakers!
* Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases the body
endorphin into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving
you with a feeling of well-being.
* The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually
active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones.
These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy!
* Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE
EFFECTIVE THAN VALIUM.
* Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages saliva
to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes
decay, preventing plaque build-up.
* Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release the
tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain.
* A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a national
antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever. ENJOY SEX!!! Good
Sex.

Ah-ha...so that'* what you were talking about the other day when you said there'* a good way to get rid of a headache but then you wouldnt tell me what!!!
Having an orgasm is the best way for getting rid of mentral cramps. However, I am sure you guys didn't want to hear that, and the only person here who will benefit from that information is amy
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Old 10-02-2002, 03:02 PM   #5
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I have gotten some good out of that information in the past! It'* taken care of quite a few headaches too.
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Old 10-02-2002, 03:17 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tamara
Ah-ha...so that'* what you were talking about the other day when you said there'* a good way to get rid of a headache but then you wouldnt tell me what!!!
Having an orgasm is the best way for getting rid of mentral cramps. However, I am sure you guys didn't want to hear that, and the only person here who will benefit from that information is amy
Yes.. I knew that too Queenie... well.. my ex figured that one out too... that'* why god create bath towels and laundry machines... ... ok.. ok.... who the hell invited Dr. Ruth here.. ha ha ha...
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Old 10-03-2002, 09:53 AM   #7
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This thread took an unexpected turn...and not for the better LOL
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Old 10-03-2002, 12:19 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blk_Bonneville
This thread took an unexpected turn...and not for the better LOL
Careful now....Andru is sensitive to such sensitive things like sex
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Old 10-04-2002, 10:15 AM   #9
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I'm not touching this with a ten foot pole! :P
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Old 10-04-2002, 10:33 AM   #10
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I'm not touching it with my 11 footer, either
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