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Old 05-17-2010, 11:54 PM   #1
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for those who love the philosophy of ambiguity..

1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.


2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.....

3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

5. The main reason santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "where'* the self-help section?" she said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

7. What if there were no hypothetical questions?

8. If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

9. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself,
is it considered a hostage situation?

10. Is there another word for synonym?

11. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"

12. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

14. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

15 why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

16. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

17. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

18. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

19. Why do they put braille on the drive-through bank machines?

20. How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?

21. What was the best thing before sliced bread?

22. One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.

23. Does the little mermaid wear an algebra?

24. How is it possible to have a civil war?

25. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

26. If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?

27. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

28. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have "*" in it?

29. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?

30. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

31. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

32. If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times does he become disoriented?

33. Can an atheist get insurance against acts of god
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Old 05-17-2010, 11:59 PM   #2
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Things that make you go Hmmm.
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Old 05-17-2010, 11:59 PM   #3
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Quote:
7. What if there were no hypothetical questions?


Then most of your post would be non-existent
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Old 05-18-2010, 12:06 AM   #4
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Originally Posted by GXP Venom View Post
4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

16. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
4. my dad gives me crap about all of that all of the time. i believe in adam & eve but then i believe in evolution to a certain degree

16. umm neither bcuz it would be dead lol
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Old 05-18-2010, 06:11 AM   #5
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i believe in adam & eve

Which Adam & Eve?

hahahhahaah
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Old 05-19-2010, 02:15 AM   #6
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Which Adam & Eve?

hahahhahaah
lol the catholic ones with the garden & snake & all that jazz
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Old 05-19-2010, 09:07 AM   #7
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Deep. Now try to wrap your head around this one. Which came first, the OXY or the MORON ?
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Old 05-20-2010, 08:55 PM   #8
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Deep. Now try to wrap your head around this one. Which came first, the OXY or the MORON ?
The OXY of course! How in hell are you gonna get the MORON unstuck from the rice paddy without an OXY pulling?
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Old 05-21-2010, 11:31 AM   #9
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I was thinking more along pharmaceutical lines but that is funny
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