Our Turn Ladies
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From: Purgatory
Our Turn Ladies
I am sure it is a repost, so please do not point it out. But it seems like lately the ladies on this site have been taking a hit, so ladies this one if for you:
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-
Shirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me,
"What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, “University of Oklahoma." And they say blondes are dumb...
-----------------------------------------------------------
A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
“I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."
The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."
-----------------------------------------------------------
"It'* just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of
the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed
the lawn like this?" "Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
-----------------------------------------------------------
A man and his wife, now in their 60'*, were celebrating their 40th wedding
Anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said
that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one
wish. The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.
Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...
Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!
Gotta love that fairy!
-----------------------------------------------------------
Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience
for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
AMEN
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
----------------------------------------------------------
Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-
Shirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me,
"What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, “University of Oklahoma." And they say blondes are dumb...
-----------------------------------------------------------
A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
“I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."
The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."
-----------------------------------------------------------
"It'* just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of
the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed
the lawn like this?" "Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
-----------------------------------------------------------
A man and his wife, now in their 60'*, were celebrating their 40th wedding
Anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said
that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one
wish. The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.
Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...
Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!
Gotta love that fairy!
-----------------------------------------------------------
Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience
for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
AMEN
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
----------------------------------------------------------
Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"
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From: My reclining computer chair
Re: Our Turn Ladies
Originally Posted by PontiacMom
"It'* just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of
the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed
the lawn like this?" "Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
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From: Right in front of you
LOVE THEM ALL!!! Especially "Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience
for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
AMEN "
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience
for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
AMEN "
Senior Member
True Car Nut
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 3,448
Likes: 7
From: _Phoenix, AZ_ _WCBF '05, '06, '07 Survivor_ ____NEBF '07 Remnant___
Re: Our Turn Ladies
Originally Posted by PontiacMom
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
Um......I think I better check on O'Niell, later
DINOSAURUS BOOSTUS
Expert Gearhead
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 41,391
Likes: 30
From: Enfield, CT
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-
Shirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me,
"What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, “University of Oklahoma." And they say blondes are dumb...
He was putting it in the proper perspective for you. (I'm gonna take a beating on this one..I can see it coming.)
O'Neil.. you cook steaks etc like a champ...someone needed to stick up for you ...specially since she probably sent you away all day (where you couldn't see her back stabbin)
Shirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me,
"What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, “University of Oklahoma." And they say blondes are dumb...
He was putting it in the proper perspective for you. (I'm gonna take a beating on this one..I can see it coming.)
O'Neil.. you cook steaks etc like a champ...someone needed to stick up for you ...specially since she probably sent you away all day (where you couldn't see her back stabbin)
Senior Member
True Car Nut
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,030
Likes: 2
From: Central Florida
Gosh, PMom, you don't sound bitter or anything...
But seriously, I thought the women ended up pasting the men in the "24 ways ..." thread, but maybe that was just me.....not that I'm keeping score or anything...
OK....it'* 25 -23 men, but don't take that personal. When you factor in that there are so many fewer women than men on BC, that'* actually a killer win/loss ratio...
But seriously, I thought the women ended up pasting the men in the "24 ways ..." thread, but maybe that was just me.....not that I'm keeping score or anything...
OK....it'* 25 -23 men, but don't take that personal. When you factor in that there are so many fewer women than men on BC, that'* actually a killer win/loss ratio...
Junior Member
Joined: Aug 2005
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From: North of Buffalo, NY *** NEBF '05, '06, '07 *** ***ONBF & NYBF 06; 07*** ***WCBF 06***
Originally Posted by lash
OK....it'* 25 -23 men, but don't take that personal. When you factor in that there are so many fewer women than men on BC, that'* actually a killer win/loss ratio...
Besides...it'* all in fun. But we just happen to be witty 
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From: North of Buffalo, NY *** NEBF '05, '06, '07 *** ***ONBF & NYBF 06; 07*** ***WCBF 06***
Originally Posted by BillBoost37
Originally Posted by singscountry1967
... we BC women are a special breed.
