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Old 04-07-2006, 03:31 PM   #1
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Default An Open Letter To Metrosexuals

Dear Metrosexuals,

Stop.

Seriously. Have you no pride? Man are supposed to be men. There is no shame in facial hair. None in having chest hair. If you think waxing your body is something you should be proud of....check your sack. It might be missing.

Men aren't supposed to spend six hours a day, four days a week in the gym. Throughout history, the big burly men got that way through vigorous labor. Not via 200 hammer curls. You don't look like a big manly man...you just look vain.

Men aren't vain. There is something inherently wrong in a man spending more time getting ready in the bathroom that his girlfriend does.

And lay off the cologne, guy. Seriously. There is a big cloud of bisexuality emanating off you every time you pass by. Men are supposed to smell manly. Our smell shouldn't be akin to a forest brook in the springtime.

Metrosexual is just 21st century code for sissy.

Why are you spending a half an hour trimming your goatee down to a fine line. Just grab a sharpie and draw it on. Save some time and look equally stupid. Are you in a boy band? Why would you do that? Facial hair isn't supposed to look all nice and neat. It is supposed to look burly and manly.

Remember how manly Burt Reynolds used to look? Before the plastic surgery? Before the fine facial hair trimming? You guys look like the newer less manly Burt. Who wants that?

Do you think Steve McQueen isn't rolling over in his grave over the state of American manhood?

Put the Apple-tini down. Throw out that entire shelf of hair care products.

Try and remember how to be a man.

Seriously. You're making Steve McQueen angry.

The last thing you metrosexuals want is Zombie McQueen coming back and kicking your sissy asses in front of your girlfriends.

It could happen
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Old 04-07-2006, 03:39 PM   #2
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LOL!

And put away those tight, TIGHT, tights...
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Old 04-07-2006, 03:42 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lash
LOL!

And put away those tight, TIGHT, tights...
Robin Hood: Men In TIghts
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Old 04-07-2006, 03:45 PM   #4
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You're just jealous that metros get more girls
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Old 04-07-2006, 03:56 PM   #5
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all i know is that i couldnt wear the "nuthuggers" that they wear....gross...girls pants are for girls, not guys.
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Old 04-08-2006, 11:33 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ryan
You're just jealous that metros get more girls
The problem is that most of them don't want more girls. A Metro is a lesbian trapped in a gay man'* body.
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Old 04-08-2006, 05:38 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BonnevillesSince62
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ryan
You're just jealous that metros get more girls
The problem is that most of them don't want more girls. A Metro is a lesbian trapped in a gay man'* body.
That makes all kinds of sense. If they were lesbians, they would want girls methinks.

Anyway, I don't see anyting wrong with wanting to look and dress well, but to each their own.
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Old 04-09-2006, 10:22 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ryan
Quote:
Originally Posted by BonnevillesSince62
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ryan
You're just jealous that metros get more girls
The problem is that most of them don't want more girls. A Metro is a lesbian trapped in a gay man'* body.
That makes all kinds of sense. If they were lesbians, they would want girls methinks.

Anyway, I don't see anyting wrong with wanting to look and dress well, but to each their own.
Maybe it'* the other way around. Thanks for the correction.

Looking and dressing well is one thing, being a Metro is another. If you can't tell the difference, you're the latter.
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Old 04-09-2006, 01:13 PM   #9
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Oh be nithce.
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Old 04-09-2006, 01:45 PM   #10
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Metro is just a buzzword.

I'm a t-shirt and jeans kind of guy, and I normally dress like a bum during the week.

I have a few nice outfits and I do like to make myself look presentable from time to time. Whether that falls under the "Metro" category or not doesn't matter to me. It'* what I like to do.

And yes, many women do like it.
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