Oldy but goody: The man's perspective
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From: Home Sweet Home in New York
Oldy but goody: The man'* perspective
Yes yes repost, blah blah, but I just read this again and it gave me a good laugh again:
Finally, the guys' side of the story (I must admit, it'* pretty good.)
We always hear "the rules" from the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Men ARE not mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it'* up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It'* like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That'* what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria'* Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are....... Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing'* wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football, baseball, NASCAR, or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. ROUND IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It'* like camping.
Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh
Finally, the guys' side of the story (I must admit, it'* pretty good.)
We always hear "the rules" from the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Men ARE not mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it'* up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It'* like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That'* what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria'* Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are....... Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing'* wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football, baseball, NASCAR, or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. ROUND IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It'* like camping.
Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh
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Originally Posted by jwakamud
its all true. every word of it. and if any of you have problems with it, let me know and i would be happy to acquaint you with the other half of the population.
I'm only seventeen, and I agree!
With every single one.
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True Car Nut
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 3,295
Likes: 2
Been waiting for a chance to use this one...
repost_baby.jpg
All joking aside, it' still funny, even after reposting.
repost_baby.jpg
All joking aside, it' still funny, even after reposting.
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True Car Nut
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 7,965
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From: Right in front of you
I can see how you guys would buy into that propoganda. But the fact still remains that women have what MOST of you guys want.... MEOW! And that is all that matters 
We have skills and talents that far outweigh any shortcomings we might have and you all know it.
BTW- Mortehl, don't you need to put some more money in your wife'* jar????
We have skills and talents that far outweigh any shortcomings we might have and you all know it. BTW- Mortehl, don't you need to put some more money in your wife'* jar????
Senior Member
True Car Nut
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 3,295
Likes: 2
Originally Posted by SSE14U24ME
I can see how you guys would buy into that propoganda. But the fact still remains that women have what MOST of you guys want.... MEOW! And that is all that matters We have skills and talents that far outweigh any shortcomings we might have and you all know it.
BTW- Mortehl, don't you need to put some more money in your wife'* jar????
We have skills and talents that far outweigh any shortcomings we might have and you all know it. BTW- Mortehl, don't you need to put some more money in your wife'* jar????
