Twas the night before Christmas and out in the garage,
There wasn't a trace of a Ford or a Dodge.
The presents were wrapped and the lights were all lit,
So I figured I'd mess with Bone Evil a bit.
I popped the release and I lifted the hood,
When a deep voice behind me said, "Looks pretty good!"
Well, as you can imagine, I turned mighty quick,
And there, by the workbench, stood good ‘ol Saint Nick!
We stood there a bit, not too sure what to say,
Then he spoke up, "Wanna trade for my sleigh?"
I said "No way, Santa" and started to grin,
"But if you've got the time we could go for a spin!"
His round little mouth, all tied up like a bow,
Turned into a smile and he said "Allright, let'* go!!"
So as not to disturb all the neighbors' retreat,
We pushed the Pontiac on down to the street.
Then taking our places to coast down the hill,
I started my baby, it was always a thrill.
The sound that erupted took him by surprise,
But he liked it alot, by the look in his eyes.
With tires a'cryin' and headers aglow,
We headed on out where the Bonneville Clubers go.
And Santa'* grin widened, approaching his ears,
With every shift up as I went through the gears.
Then he yelled "I can't recall when I felt so alive!"
So I backed off the gas and said "You wanna drive?"
‘Ol Santa was stunned when I gave him the keys,
When he walked past the headlights he shook at the knees!
The small block erupted with that American sound,
When Santa stomped the gas, the tires shook the ground!
Chirped into second and again into third,
I just sat there holding on, at a loss for words.
Then I heard him exclaim as he blasted from sight,
"Merry Christmas to all, it'* been a hell of a night!!!"


The Ricer..

Twas the night before Christmas and caught at the light,
was a domestic L67 and no cops in sight.
I will try, I will try, I will try with this small motor,
To beat this damn Pontiac, even with its big blower,
As the light goes green and I pull like no joke,
The Bonne erupts in clouds of tire smoke,
Now Smasher, now Rev-ver, now Stroker, now Blitzin,
These are the names of my four Honda pistons,
Racing ahead I'm the star of the action,
But I know I'm in trouble when that V6 gets traction,
Grabbing second, I hear the RPM'* sing,
My mirror is blocked by my shopping kart wing,
I now hear the roar of the big monster gaining,
All I can do is keep the four-banger straining,
In a second, the shock wave hits with a blast,
And my stickers go flying now a thing of the past,
Don't bother with third, cause now it'* too late,
Just try to act cool, like you can relate,
Looking up at the taillights as they get smaller,
The driver backs off just to give me a holler,
"You can't win them all," he says in a fling,
"You may not win any, in that silly thing,"
I smiled and revved as he pulled out of sight,
With my new mods tomorrow it will be a better night.

Pdad, that was awesome!

Please come up with more!!!

Just too funny! Excellent.

Outstanding! I really enjoyed those!

O'Neil...classic as always.

You guys have to sit around a fire with O'Neil to really appreciate his humor... you'll either cry or **** yourself laughing

Yep, PDad was up early this morning with no supervision........Look out folks, your sides will be hurting because of laughing so hard!

No Problem Here

I'm with you Greg...everything was always quiet around the camp until Nicole woke up... (I'm already running...)