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Old 05-14-2007, 11:59 AM   #1
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Default The New Alphabet

New Alphabet

A is for apple, and B is for boat,
That used to be right, but now it won't float!
Age before beauty is what we once said, But let'* be a bit more realistic instead.


The Alphabet
A'* for arthritis;
B'* the bad back,
C'* the chest pains,
perhaps car-d-iac?

D is for dental decay and decline,
E is for eyesight, can't read that top line!
F is for fissures and fluid retention,
G is for gas which I'd rather not mention.

H is high blood pressure--I'd rather it low; I is for incisions with scars you can show.
J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend, K is for knees that crack when they bend.


L is for libido, what happened to sex?
M is for memory, I forget what comes next.
N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low;
O is for osteo, the bones that don't grow!


P is for prescriptions, I have quite a few, just give me a pill and I'll be good as new!
Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?
R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.

* is for sleepless nights, counting my fears, T is for Tinnitus; there'* bells in my ears!
U is for urinary; big troubles with flow; V is for vertigo, that'* "dizzy," you know.

W is for worry, NOW what'* going 'round?
X is for X ray, and what might be found.
Y is another year I'm left here behind,
Z is for zest that I still have-- in my mind.

I've survived all the symptoms, my body'* deployed, And I am keeping twenty-six doctors fully employed!!!
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Old 05-14-2007, 05:58 PM   #2
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That must be the "Over The Hill Alphabet"
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Old 05-14-2007, 05:59 PM   #3
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It'* the Popa-bet
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Old 05-14-2007, 06:20 PM   #4
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I am not quite there yet but I feel it coming. Pretty funny
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