My crappy relationship with my pops

Reply Subscribe

Thread Tools

02-12-2006, 10:40 AM

#21

willwren

Junior Member

Posts like a Ricer Type-R

Join Date: Aug 2002

Posts: 11

Likes: 0

Received 4 Likes on 4 Posts

Quote:

Originally Posted by SSE14U24ME

Quote:

Originally Posted by willwren

Any other idea is a waste of time and your life.

I don't agree with you on that one part. This is the only dad he will ever have. It doesn't matter if the man is a total Richard Cranium (********) it is still his dad. Things aren't always smooth between parent and child for various reasons. Fuel- your dad may have a lot on his mind and not even realize how he is treating you. He may have some issue with you that he would rather try to deal with on his own as opposed to letting you know. I think you should sit down with him (when he is in a decent mood) and have a man to man talk with him. Confront him on the situation. Then at least you will know where you stand and he will know how you feel. Once you have done that you can decide on the next steps you need to make. Either rectify the situation or then bide your time till you move out to go to school and start your new life. Either way though he is still your father. My son didn't have the greatest relationship with his own dad and that use to make me crazy. No matter what my ex did to Jeff it didn't stop Jeff from loving his dad and trying to make things work. That is why we moved from Chicago to Mississippi and Jeff was able to build a good relationship with his dad in the last years before his dad died 7 years ago 02/12/1999.

What I meant by that is you can't FORCE him. And the odds are in favor of him coming around later in life on his own. Forcing it may only make the distance between them greater.

Don't dwell on it, move on, and it'll come around on it'* own later and solve itself.

Reply Like

02-12-2006, 02:10 PM

#22

GonneVille

Senior Member

True Car Nut

Join Date: Apr 2004

Posts: 4,816

Likes: 0

Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts

Realize, Fuel, that when I say "move out" I don't mean that you should cut all ties or anything, just that a little space between a Father and Son seems to help solve alot of the relationship problems that develop when the son hits his late teens.

As for your Dad spending more time with your older brother, and sharing his interests...
...well, I don't know how to solve that problem, because I haven't solved it yet, either. My Dad'* the same way.

Reply Like

02-12-2006, 02:17 PM

#23

SSE14U24ME

Senior Member

True Car Nut

Join Date: Dec 2003

Location: Right in front of you

Posts: 7,965

Likes: 0

Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts

Quote:

Originally Posted by willwren

I didn't imply to force, I just said to confront (in a non-threatening way) and try to talk about it. I've seen plenty of situations where someone will have something bothering them and they are taking it out on the whole world or sometimes on one particular person (that may remind them of the person or situation that is bothering them). I would just let the dad know- "Hey, you are dismissing me like I'm yesterdays trash. What is your malfunction." and take it from there. If the talk gets him no remedy then I agree- move on. He will at least be able to leave knowing he has said his peace and then it is all on the dads shoulders.

Unfortunately you can't pick your relatives. I have a brother that I don't get a long with but when we are in the same location I put all the old grief on the back burner and just get through that day. My brother has his own issues that don't even involve me but I am his target for whatever reason. My mom says she thinks he'* jealous of my relationship with my parents. That is his problem. He could come around more often.

Reply Like

02-12-2006, 09:19 PM

#24

ChaseSmith

Senior Member

Posts like a Northstar

Join Date: Jun 2005

Location: Yulee , FL ___ SEBF Survivor

Posts: 700

Likes: 0

Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts

Yeah, I know what you are going through. I have the same relationship with my mother. The day after I graduated I moved out. We would go months without talking, and then I would get a nasty letter telling me how bad of a person I was. I have an awesome relationship with my dad though. I moved in with him, and my mother turned her whole side of the family against me. Until recently the only time I saw her and any of them was christmas, weddings and funerals.

I lived my life the way I wanted. I didn't follow the path they thought I should have, I followed my own. Five years later, I'm where I wanted to be, and it finally hit her that I was doing fine. Now everyone likes me again, and I didn't give in.

So just do what you think is right, and they will come around when it finally hits them that you are a grown *** man and know how to take care of your ****.