This is suppose to be an actual alert to IBM Field Engineers that went out to all IBM Branch Offices. The person who wrote it was very serious. The rest of us may find it rather funny.

Abstract: Mouse Balls Available as FRU (Field Replacement Unit)

Mouse balls are now available as FRU. Therefore, if a mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically, it may need a ball replacement. Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained personnel.

Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls. Ball removal procedures differ depending upon manufacturer of the mouse. Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop-off method. Domestic balls are replaced using the twist-off method.

Mouse balls are not usually static sensitive. However, excessive handling can result in sudden discharge. Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse maybe used immediately.

It is recommended that each replacer have a pair of spare balls for maintaining optimum customer satisfaction, and that any customer missing his balls should suspect local personnel of removing these necessary items.

Mouse balls used to be an important spare part to carry, back when mice were male. However, almost all mice these days are female, and the need to carry mouse balls is no more.

These days, as a computer technician, if a female mouse isn't working right, I just replace it for the customer.

You never want to get caught cleaning a mouses balls!

Handle your balls gently.

It surprises me that anyone still uses the ball type since the balls always seem to get stolen

Laser are the best. Super accurate

My mouse started acting up, so I opened it up and found a hairy ball.

I still use a optical trackball. Once in awhile I have to pop the ball out and clean out all the fromundacheese.

Hilarious!

But on another note, I also use a trackball mouse at work, since I have two screens and its a lot easier and requires less effort that way. I still have to take it out and clean the rollers every now and then, which is fairly easy.

I used to keep a jar of mouse balls from male mice I replaced with female mice (for no particular reason). I think I tossed it recently, but man, you get two or three dozen of those things, and they're heavy. I considered using them as ammo in some kind of home-made cubicle weapon, but then I figured I'd hurt somebody and gave up on that.

You should reccomend your cannon idea to the new show on G4 "Effin Science"