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Mattel Releases Ontario Regional Barbies

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Old 03-04-2004, 02:27 PM
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Default Mattel Releases Ontario Regional Barbies

I got a laff from it

Forest Hill Barbie:
This 'Princess Barbie' is only sold at Yorkdale Mall (at selected stores
only). She comes with assortment of Kate Spade and Gucci handbags, a Lexus,
a lapdog and a 2 Million dollar house. Options include tummy tuck,
face-lift, spa certificates for Tiba, and a workaholic-cheating husband
Dr.Ken.

Thornhill Barbie:
This trendy homemaker Barbie is available with the Lexus SUV or Ford
Windstar minivan (traffic jamming cell phone sold separately). She gets lost
easily, and has no full-time occupation or secondary education. You can
find this Barbie walking the beach in the mornings or trying to work off her
extra pounds at Just Ladies Fitness. Optional matching gym outfit.

Regent Park Barbie:
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife,
and a slammed Chevrolet with oversized wheels and tinted windows and a
Methadone Clinic Ken. Also available in a jailbird version with orange
coveralls.

Yorkville Barbie:
This yuppie Barbie comes with choice of a BMW sports car or a souped up
Hummer 2, and for an added bonus, a $200,000, 400 square foot bacherlorette
pad. She walks her Chiuwawa, named Pookie every morning to Starbucks for her
Grande, double shot, skinny, sugar-free vanilla latte. Also available,
numerous Platinum credit cards and Shallow-Ken. You >can find this Barbie at
Yorkville Yoga Studio 3 times a week. This Barbie takes Pookie to her job as
a Financial Analyst.

Brampton Barbie:
This white-trash model comes in Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR
shirt, big hair, a six-pack of Coors Light and a Hank, Jr. CD set. She can
spit over 5 feet and she can kick Ken'* a$$ when she'* drunk. A pickup is
available with Country Radio bumper stickers. Camel-toe option also
available.

Scarborough Barbie:
This version has a mouth that is firmly closed so as not to show her summer
teeth (some are here, some are there, some are missing), Daisy Dukes and a
half T-shirt that guarantees you can see her navel piercing and at least 5
tattoos. It swears incessantly and is not recommended for children. She is a
high school drop-out, and has never made it out of what she calls "the
rockin' groove"

Hamilton Barbie:
This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie still has not learned that you
can't wear high-heeled sandals from Payless with no pedicure and without
breaking a heel and falling while you chase your beer gutted mullet wearing
boyfriend. Her make-up is dark red lip liner with lips covered in a sparkly
pink color or no fill-in at all. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed
jeans with assorted colored G-strings that stick out the back of her jeans,
a white barely-there see-through shirt. Her long, layered hair
bleached/highlighted and BIG. Accessories include: CD-player equipped with
Bon Jovi, and a 1996 Camaro Z-28.

Ajax Barbie:
This Barbie is the same model of Barbie that was released in 1982. She comes
with shoulder pads, dark Polyester skirt, white pantyhose and a bad haircut.
Options include a Rick James T-shirt, Wal-Mart purse and outdated shoes.

Keswick Barbie:
This flannel wearing Barbie comes with her own 4-H ribbon collection, brown
pick-up truck and blue eye shadow. She'* a country girl at heart with cow
manure odour boots (scratch and sniff the soles for a realistic dose of
country fun). Cowboy Ken is toothless and also clad in red and black flannel
check shirt. You can find Cowboy Ken making a fool of himself in the stands
at local hockey games.

Queen West Barbie:
This chemically treated, black with red streaked hair Barbie, with her
Burberry handbag and matching scarf, comes with a hot little Mercedes with
Hello Kitty stuffed toys on the dash, funded directly from her rich
Grandparents. This one of a kind Barbie also comes with an unlimited amount
of Platinum credit cards. Speed-loving Ken is also available with the choice
of a souped up Honda Civic or Subaru Impreza.

"The Beach" Barbie:
This Barbie is usually found shopping on Queen East in her
Lululemon yoga outfit and carrying a bag of fresh organic veggies from
'Choices' with her snowboarding shaggy haired boyfriend Ken. On weekends you
can find this Barbie babe at The Sushi Eatery with a swarm of Barbie
friends. You can purchase this Barbie'* torn Levi'*, buffalo sweater and
crocheted purse for her laid-back days. Church Street Ken You can purchase
this special Ken at select Boys Co. stores, and he comes complete with a
tight black shirt and leather pants. Ken is usually found struttin' down
Church or dancin' at the one of the many bars. Barbie not available in this
area.

High Park Barbie:
This Barbie has recently been divorced. She comes with Ken'* car, Ken'*
boat, and Ken'* house.
Old 03-04-2004, 02:37 PM
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Old 03-04-2004, 02:45 PM
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Its even more funny when you know these little areas in the province
Old 03-04-2004, 03:04 PM
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lol, I don't even know the providences and such, but still funny.
Old 03-04-2004, 03:07 PM
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Its actually "provinces"

Come see us more often, get out of the United Statements
Old 03-04-2004, 03:58 PM
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Originally Posted by Jim W


Its actually "provinces"

Come see us more often, get out of the United Statements
LOL. wow........well, excuse me for being just maybe a bit too Americanized!!!
Old 03-04-2004, 04:14 PM
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I like Brampton
Scarborough Bob here at work had me print it off so he could take it home to his wife, shes from Hamilton
Old 03-04-2004, 06:13 PM
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Hey, nothing represents my areas... we need a Willowdale Barbie (school), Jane/Finch Barbie (nearby, but I guess the Regent Park one would substitute fine ), and a North York Barbie :P
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