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Old 11-16-2003, 06:12 AM   #1
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Default Man-ese Translated

I'M HUNGRY.
I'm hungry.

I'M SLEEPY.
I'm sleepy.

I'M TIRED.
I'm tired.

I'VE GOTTA GO.
Get out of the way and stay away until it clears.

WHAT'* WRONG?
I don't see why you're making such a big deal out of this.

WHAT'* WRONG?
What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?

YES, I LIKE THE WAY YOU CUT YOUR HAIR.
I liked it better before.

YES, I LIKE THE WAY YOU CUT YOUR HAIR.
$50 and it doesn't look that much different!

YES, I LIKE THE WAY YOU CUT YOUR HAIR.
For $50 they should have GIVEN YOU hair!

LET'* TALK, HONEY.
I'm trying to impress you by showing you that I am a deep person, and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me.

WILL YOU MARRY ME?
I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.

WILL YOU MARRY ME?
I might as well get tax benefits for going through these talks.

"IT'* A GUY THING"
Translated:* "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Translated:* "Why isn't it already on the table?"

"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR"
Translated:* Absolutely nothing. It'* a conditioned response.

"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Translated:* "I have no idea how it works."

"TAKE A BREAK, HONEY. YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD."
Translated:* "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"THAT'* INTERESTING, DEAR."
Translated:* "Are you still talking?"

"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Translated:* "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop,' the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned... but I forgot your birthday."

"OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF. IT'* NO BIG DEAL."
Translated:* "I have actually severed a limb but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."

"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING."
Translated:* "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

"I CAN'T FIND IT."
Translated:* "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Translated:* "What did you catch me at?"

"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Translated:* "No one will ever see us alive again."

"WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK."
Translated:* "I make the messes; she cleans them up."
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