Male / Female humor
 

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
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OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
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SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.
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GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
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HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
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LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
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PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
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DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
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HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

man, every one of them right on. thats amazing.

Re: Male / Female humor
 

I keep trying to tell people.......

:lol:

Re: Male / Female humor
 

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.[/quote]

That would shut up the old aunts.
Can you imagine some young woman doing that, with a giggle and all? :lol:

Re: Male / Female humor
 

I will admit that is true. :D

Re: Male / Female humor
 

Shut up.....

:bdoor:



:lol:

Re: Male / Female humor
 

:bwhack: I have a bone to pick with you Mr. MOS!!!

So many inappropriate replies come to mind........

Re: Male / Female humor
 

New arguement!

yeah, yeah, yeah. You and Boost didn't come to my rescue when I was so falsely accused of not taking the idiot thread as humorous. You guys both know how I am and yet no support. Geez!!! I back you both up if you're not around to do it for yourselves. I'm very dissappointed- now get in the corner for a time out. Scoot!