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Old 03-08-2004, 05:20 PM   #1
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When you have a "I hate my job" day try this ....... On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section. You will need to purchase a rectal thermometer made by "Johnson and Johnson. Be very sure you get this brand.
When you get home, open the package and remove the thermometer. Carefully place it on a table so that it will not become chipped or broken. Take out the written material that comes with the thermometer and read it. You will notice that in small print there is this statement: "Every rectal thermometer made by Johnson and Johnson is personally tested"
Now close your eyes and repeat out loud five times: "I am so glad I do not work for quality control at the Johnson and Johnson Company."
Have a nice day folks and remember, there is always someone with a worse job than yours
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Old 03-10-2004, 05:30 AM   #2
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Old 03-10-2004, 02:23 PM   #3
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that would suck tremendously a lot
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Old 03-10-2004, 02:42 PM   #4
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Next time you have a bad day at work, think of this guy. Bob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to a radio
station that was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won. "Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week Ihad a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it'* not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office.. It'* a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment
sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this
sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do , when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit warm water. It'* like working
in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In
agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I
scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, was all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make
three agonizing in-water decompression stops, totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet! As I climbed out of the
water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut. So,
next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt. Now repeat to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job.' "
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