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Old 07-31-2006, 08:53 AM   #1
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Default If I Controlled The Music Industry

The following are some things I would do if I had the power to rule the music industry. You may disagree with one or two...but who cares? I'm running the show, not you.

The list:

Raise John Coltrane, Miles Davis, Satchmo, and Thelonious Monk from the dead.

Get Elvis to quit his Burger King job in Georgia and start making music again.

Reunite Van Halen with Gary Cherone. Why? Because it would be funny. Also, I think I speak for all right-thinking people when I say that Van Hagar sucked...but no one really realized that there was a level of suckitude even worse...Van Cherone. It'* time that Sammy Hagar stopped taking crap for being the worst when clearly that crown belongs to Gary Cherone.

Have sex with Jessica Simpson.

Raise Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra from the dead...to throw a party that will go down in the annals of ***-kickery as the finest party ever thrown. Four weeks after the event, I plan to sober up.

Go ahead and raise Sammy Davis Jr. from the dead, too. He can come to the party.

Make Kenny G., Yanni, and John Tesh battle it out cage-match style for the title of "Less Wussy Then Those Other Two".

Arbitrarily rule that no Hilton will ever make another album...ever.

Force Aerosmith to begin rocking again. Any soft-ballad bullshit will be punished with swift kicks to the groin. These nutshots will be posted on YouTube for the amusement of everyone who had to suffer through the last ten years of Aerosmith'* music.

Have sex with Christina Aguilera.

Kick Axl Rose'* *** and make him get the original Guns N' Roses lineup back together.

Unilaterally declare that boy-bands never happened. Remove all albums by New Kids On The Block, N'Sync, Backstreet Boys, etc. from stores worldwide.

Remind Ted Nugent that he is supposed to rock. Slap him for that whole Damn Yankees debacle.
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Old 07-31-2006, 11:06 AM   #2
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You forgot one...................

Abolish rap music and force all of the rappers to get jobs at fast food restaurants
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Old 07-31-2006, 12:11 PM   #3
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Default Re: If I Controlled The Music Industry

Quote:
Originally Posted by MOS95B

Have sex with Jessica Simpson.


Have sex with Christina Aguilera.

.
You forgot Avril Lavigne and Kelly Clarkson.
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Old 07-31-2006, 12:14 PM   #4
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Default Re: If I Controlled The Music Industry

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mike1995
Quote:
Originally Posted by MOS95B

Have sex with Jessica Simpson.


Have sex with Christina Aguilera.

.
You forgot Avril Lavigne and Kelly Clarkson.
I know Avril is too young for me, but she is gorgeous. And I ain't a fan of Kelly Clarkson.

To be honest, if I thought most of you would know who they were my choices would have been Terri Clark, Gretchen Wilson, Martina McBride, and/or a couple of others...
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Old 07-31-2006, 04:29 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dbeast420
You forgot one...................

Abolish rap music and force all of the rappers to get jobs at fast food restaurants
ahem..

dun be hatin' d00d

LOL
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Old 07-31-2006, 05:20 PM   #6
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Default Re: If I Controlled The Music Industry

Quote:
Originally Posted by MOS95B
The following are some things I would do if I had the power to rule the music industry. You may disagree with one or two...but who cares? I'm running the show, not you.

The list:

Raise John Coltrane, Miles Davis, Satchmo, and Thelonious Monk from the dead.
Lets not forget Jimmy, Janis, Morrison, Stevie, Johny and a alot more

Get Elvis to quit his Burger King job in Georgia and start making music again.
Hey... I'm pumping gas now in the Nevada desert, havent you heard?

Reunite Van Halen with Gary Cherone. Why? Because it would be funny. Also, I think I speak for all right-thinking people when I say that Van Hagar sucked...but no one really realized that there was a level of suckitude even worse...Van Cherone. It'* time that Sammy Hagar stopped taking crap for being the worst when clearly that crown belongs to Gary Cherone.
OOOOOO YA!

Have sex with Jessica Simpson.
Check

Raise Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra from the dead...to throw a party that will go down in the annals of A$$-kickery as the finest party ever thrown. Four weeks after the event, I plan to sober up.
Go ahead and raise Sammy Davis Jr. from the dead, too. He can come to the party.
Now That would be the coolest ever, But do I have to sober up?

Make Kenny G., Yanni, and John Tesh battle it out cage-match style for the title of "Less Wussy Then Those Other Two".
Lets put Hasselhoff in the mix too.

Arbitrarily rule that no Hilton will ever make another album...ever.
Agreed,... But can i have sex with them anyway???

Force Aerosmith to begin rocking again. Any soft-ballad bullshit will be punished with swift kicks to the groin. These nutshots will be posted on YouTube for the amusement of everyone who had to suffer through the last ten years of Aerosmith'* music.
Ya they bore the **** out of me too anymore

Have sex with Christina Aguilera.
Check

Kick Axl Rose'* A$$ and make him get the original Guns N' Roses lineup back together.
AAAaaaa He'* dead Man, Gonna have to add him to #1 as well first, and before anymore die


Unilaterally declare that boy-bands never happened. Remove all albums by New Kids On The Block, N'Sync, Backstreet Boys, etc. from stores worldwide.
X 100,000,000,000,000

Remind Ted Nugent that he is supposed to rock. Slap him for that whole Damn Yankees debacle
.And put The KISS idiot in here for trying to become a Indy car spokesman<What the Hell were they thinking>???
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