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Old 01-01-2011, 03:56 PM   #11
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Here'* the thing, it'* your house, and Jens because you two are a couple. It'* your nest, and mom has no claim to it. If she don't like it, she can fly off and build her own nest.
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Old 01-01-2011, 04:52 PM   #12
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Its a tuffy bud. Either way ur gonna make someone upset. If u are lenient with ur mom it will cause problems with u and Jenn, if it hasnt yet it will soon. And If u are stern with your mother, and put ur foot down ur mom is going to be pissed, and will almost certainly have a problem with Jenn. Because Jenn is ur woman, Thats just what happens I dont know why.

BUT... ur mom has had a lifetime to create ur own life and lifestyle. And obviously she didnt do to good of a job somewhere. And you and Jenn have a good thing going. You cant muddy that up with taking in charity cases, even if it is ur own mother. She has tested u by not paying as much as she should, and driving ur vehicles. She knows she can do it. And will continue to drain you until you show her she doesnt have special privileges just because she gave birth to you.

You and Jenn deserve to live happy and deal with stress that only you and her create not outside people. Good Luck BUD. Its a new year, its time!
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Old 01-01-2011, 07:26 PM   #13
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I've looked at a couple of family members over the years and have realized that if they were not family, I would have not chose them as a friend or someone I hang out with. But, because they are family, I tolerate them and do what I can and that means not treated or taken care of like I would a dear friend.
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Old 01-01-2011, 10:18 PM   #14
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Ahh yes And so it begins...In follow up i ended up taking my buick back and selling it for twice what i paid..have spoke to her twice sense

Anyways stealth buddy.sucks you gotta do it like this but it has to be done..no remorse.sorry im in a hurry so will add more later -
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Old 01-02-2011, 02:34 AM   #15
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shitty deal man, wish you all the best
its so hard to deal with parents sometimes, you just dunno what to do or say to them
mom and dad visit us every now and then, and when they are here they stay with me and my brother for a year or so before they go back home again, we just cant make them pay rent. they didnt make us pay for the 20 years when they raised us :P
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Old 01-02-2011, 09:31 AM   #16
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Yeah that'* a rough deal man. Dunno what to tell you, my mom and I have a shitty relationship partly because she isn't exactly balanced in the head. If you' ever seen Christopher Titus' stand up routines talking about his mom that'* pretty much me and my mother.

All I can tell you is it sucks feeling like you're getting walked over and used but a time comes when they're not around any more and you ask "was there more I could have done?". So while it sounds like you're being taken for a ride at least one day you'll be able to look back and know you were the best damn son she could have.

But when it'* all said and done you have to do what'* best for you and your woman FIRST. There'* nothing wrong with helping family out but they in turn need to be reasonable in expectatiins. If someone doesn't want to fish for themselves they have to learn to be happy with canned tuna and not expect salmon.

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we just cant make them pay rent. they didnt make us pay for the 20 years when they raised us :P
heh, you're lucky. I was helping my family pay rent and buy groceries from the time I was 12.
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Old 01-05-2011, 10:56 AM   #17
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I've been helping my grandparents manage their rental properties for a while, and come to realize that you give someone an inch and they take 10 miles. She has always been very generous with her tenants, even going as far as letting them stay rent free and providing them food if they get in a rough time, only to be repaid by them suddenly moving out and leaving the place trashed.

One policy we started that you could use to drive your point across is that if rent isn't in on the day it is due, there is a late fee. Usually after the first time they have to pay that late fee they start paying on time.
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Old 01-05-2011, 10:58 AM   #18
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Well she'* going to be using Snow Shoe express... Not that I need to nor want to... but I think I just sold Skitzoid...
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Old 01-05-2011, 11:00 AM   #19
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Some times you need to use tough love. It'* the only way to set boundaries.
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Old 01-05-2011, 11:12 AM   #20
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wow bro, sticky situation. Dont know how religious of a person you are but even the Bible says a man is supposed to leave his father and his mother and he and his wife are to become one flesh. Translation you are more obligated to your fiance than you are to your mom at this point and even God understands that. lol Thing with family is they will often assume that they are supposed to get special treatment. best way to handle it is to let them know up front, that business is business and blood doesnt change that. just my 2 cents.
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