I ain't drunk...
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From: Right in front of you
I ain't drunk...
From the county where drunk driving is considered a sport, comes this true story. Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a bar in Jackson county, Mississippi after last call the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so apparently intoxicated that he could barely walk.
The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity in which he tried his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car and fall into it. He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other
patrons left the bar and drove off.
Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off--it was a fine, dry summer night--,flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patrons' vehicles left. At last, when his was the only car left in the parking lot, he pulled out and drove slowly down the road.
The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and administered a breathalyzer test. To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the man had consumed any alcohol at all!
Dumbfounded, the officer said, I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the sheriff'* office. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken."
"I doubt it," said the truly proud non-drinker. "Tonight I'm the DD--designated decoy."
The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity in which he tried his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car and fall into it. He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other
patrons left the bar and drove off.
Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off--it was a fine, dry summer night--,flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patrons' vehicles left. At last, when his was the only car left in the parking lot, he pulled out and drove slowly down the road.
The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and administered a breathalyzer test. To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the man had consumed any alcohol at all!
Dumbfounded, the officer said, I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the sheriff'* office. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken."
"I doubt it," said the truly proud non-drinker. "Tonight I'm the DD--designated decoy."
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I actually know someone that swore for years he'd try that. He'* never left a bar with a cop actually in sight though. 
(one of these days, a cop that hasn't heard this joke will actually fall for it though)
(one of these days, a cop that hasn't heard this joke will actually fall for it though)
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From: Memphis,TN Originally from MA
I would love to try that down here but I know it would backfire. Cops in Memphis are known for planting drugs and weapons if they don't actually find anything on a person. If they are determined to arrest you, they will find or make a way to do it.
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