If he makes his feelings for you known to her, she will cut off contact.

From your last reply, it sounds like you have a pretty realistic grasp on the situation. I'd just like to say that it'* heartbreaking to hear stories like this, when I think about my wife and myself and our 19-month old son, and how we have a loving family and environment for him, and I think about how many children don't have that and are growing up with broken families. At the same time, you have to protect yourself, and your marraige was obviously over. Sounds like you've come a long way towards making a better life for yourself and that'* really *really* admirable.

Yes, your ex will break the terms, but it'* still difficult to impossible, and nearly always too expensive to do anything about. With living so far apart, if you do pursue a legal visitation judgment from a court, it would likely be something like summers or every-other summer. If that'* worth the legal battle and expense, you can fight for that.

I just wish your ex was able to behave enough like a reasonable adult to agree to a reasonable visitation arrangement with you. It pains me when couples break up and then use children as a thing to posess and argue over. You're entitled to the joys of fatherhood.

Geeze..have I heard that story before. Maybe I should give her Karen'* number in Tecumseh, Nebraska. Between the two of them, they might be able to keep a roof over their collective heads and a working automobile around.

Choice is yours really. If your son is in no danger of going without food and a roof to sleep under, then you might leave well enough alone and wait for him to be old enough to come to you of his own accord. If he is going hungry, or out of doors, then call the police in Iowa. They will step in and remove the kids (and charge your ex wife with neglect, child abandonment, whatever the DA thinks will stick.)