Two married buddies are out drinking when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out late; I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway, shut-off the engine and coast into the garage,I take my shoes off before I go into the house, sneak up the stairs, get undressed in the bathroom, ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out late!"
His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you see, your approach is all wrong. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes in the closet, jump into bed, slap her on the @ss and shout, "WHO'* H0RNY"?!!!", and she always acts like she'* sound asleep!

LOL, thats a good one.